Madtown Mama

grown-ups

2012-01-24T21:48:00.002-06:00

Daniel has informed me that he wants to be more like a grown-up. This is equally hilarious and endearing, though it has on occasion led to some arguments. For example, the other day he was really bossing his little sister around, and when I told him to back off, he put up his hand and said, "Mom, we can discuss this in my office." I would have cracked up if I hadn't been so irritated with him at that moment.

But this is only the beginning. The other night, he announced that he wanted to be "more like a grown-up," which meant 1) wearing socks to bed, 2) brushing his teeth without being told (win!) and 3) working on a sudoku puzzle in the evening. He has also requested that I not ask him how his day at school was, because, as he said, "Grown-ups go to work, mom, so ask me how my day at work was." I oblige, "OK, how was your day at work?" I say. "Pretty good," he answers, before tossing his shoes and snow pants in the middle of the floor and heading to the kitchen where he roots in the snack cupboard for cheddar bunny crackers and fruit leather. Good thing he hasn't grown up completely yet, eh?

I don't have the heart to tell my little boy, who will be all of six years old in just a couple of weeks, that being all grown up isn't all it's cracked up to be. I know that from his vantage point, it's so hard to wait to be tall enough to reach the highest shelves and use permanent markers without asking permission and stay up late, he can hardly stand it. I feel like I was a kid a long, long time ago, but I remember fantasizing about the mystical world of adulthood. If someone had told me it was mostly about being disappointed in other grown-ups (like the ones elected to public office, for example) and cleaning up after your family, I wouldn't have listened anyway. I had big dreams, you know. They were pretty unrealistic, but I didn't know any better, and of course, that is the magic of childhood.

A little over a year ago, when I was in Kansas for a performance, I had a conversation with someone I knew in college. We were barely acquaintances back then as now, but something about our conversation stuck with me. He's roughly my age, married, father of three young children, and was in the middle of a career change, living in the smallish town he'd grown up in, and he said, "You reach a point where you're like, 'Is this it? Really? Is this where I've settled, and my best years are behind me already?' But then of course you have a family to take care of, so what choice do you have?"

I didn't really mean for this post to get so sad and cynical. Believe it or not, I'm not sad and cynical. Well, I'm not sad. (I've always been a touch cynical.) In fact, the last few weeks I have made peace with where I am, career-wise. As much noise as I've made about starting over and trying something new (like accounting or education or something totally wild and out there like computer programming, which I would probably suck mightily at), the fact is, there is a damn good reason I spent almost the whole of my 20s studying music performance and teaching. It's what I love best. It's what I'm best at. Not THE best at, but whatever. I get by, and it turns out there are a few people out there who believe in me.

I may never be famous. I may never get an academic job. I may never feel completely and totally confident about my work. But at least I'm doing what I always loved best. I suppose there are some grown-ups out there still figuring that out.

opening night

2012-01-20T14:39:00.002-06:00

It is opening night for Wired For Love! We had another run-through last night, for which I finally had a decent light and was able to see both my music AND the conductor, which was a big relief. It's a good show. I know the weather out there is pretty shitty, but if you can make to Music Hall on the UW campus at 8pm, please come enjoy the show and support your local artists. It's only about an hour long and will be worth your while!

Now I need to go find a black shirt to wear in the orchestra pit...

1 million plus, wired for love

2012-01-18T18:41:00.002-06:00

I've got two big, whopping news items this week. Item the first: more than ONE MILLION signatures have been collected and turned in to the GAB (Government Accountability Board) to trigger an election to recall Gov. Scott Walker. That's more than 1,000,000 for Walker alone, nearly twice as many as we needed! More than 800,000 were collected to recall Lt. Gov. Rebecca Kleefisch, and there were enough to trigger recall elections for 4 Republican state senators as well.

This is a significant first step to undoing at least some of the wrongs that have been committed against the people of Wisconsin in the past year. This is huge. And though we have reason to celebrate, this is where it gets [more] complicated. We need strong candidates to defeat these Repubs in the months ahead, and they are raking in the monies from here, there and everywhere (Walker has raised millions of dollars already, half from out of state) and starting now they will be blitzing the media with negative ads. This is why we're fighting the good fight, though.

I've been preoccupied this week with another project, though; all week I've been in rehearsals for an opera premiere happening this weekend. The show is Wired For Love, by the fabulous Jerry Hui, and I'm honored to be participating. I'm playing piano in the orchestra, and it is anything but a glamorous gig, though, let me tell you. The orchestra pit is pretty small to begin with, and the upright piano I'm playing doesn't fit on the platform, so I'm a couple feet lower down and farther away from the conductor than everyone else. There isn't a proper light for the piano, so the set guy rigged up a couple of small spotlights on a 2x4 piece of wood. This works okay for illuminating my music, but the lights put out a LOT of heat, and they glare so badly that every time I look up at the conductor, I see spots. So...I can't see or hear particularly well, given my location and the poor light, and on top of that, I'm placed about six feet away from a giant, ancient furnace that sounds like its own percussion section whenever it kicks on. In fact, a couple of times during last night's rehearsal, I thought the actual percussionist was screwing up, but it turned out to be the heat coming on. Good thing we have another run-through tonight so I can get used to all that.

In all seriousness, I don't mean to complain. Believe it or not, I'm having a ball. Jerry writes really good music, the show is very funny, and all the musicians involved are very good. Like I said, it's an honor. Playing new music really is one of my favorite things to do. (In case anyone local here wants to see the show, it's Friday Jan 20 and Saturday Jan 21 at Music Hall on the UW campus, 8:00pm. I recommend it!)

the art of snow removal

2012-01-12T19:40:00.003-06:00

It's a little late getting here, but winter has finally arrived. Anya is trying out the outerwear portion of her wardrobe:

There is an art to snow removal. Our little family has collected quite the array of shovels and scrapers, each essential and useful in its own way. There is the short-handled emergency shovel that folds up and fits neatly into the back of the car, and is also a convenient size for children who like to help out. There is the long-handled aptly-named "Snow Plow" with a wide blade to scoop snow off the deck and porch steps. There is a long-handled brush for clearing the car, an ice pick for when things get really packed down, a roof rake, and - my personal favorite - the bent-handled snow shovel most comfortable for clearing the narrow gravel driveway.

We have pretty much everything but a snow blower. God, I hate snow blowers. Those things are a scourge on the environment and they make SO MUCH NOISE.

I'd say we got about 6" of snow today, certainly not enough to cancel school, but enough to make the roads a slippery mess. I was grateful I didn't have to drive anywhere (though after 3 rounds of Chutes and Ladders and multiple readings of Anya's favorite Berenstain Bears books, I was just about ready to try it). At 1:00, when the snowstorm was about halfway done, we went outside to tromp around and get a head start clearing the driveway and try out my new snow boots (thanks to generous gift cards and clearance at REI!):

After 15 minutes, my dear little daughter was ready to go inside, but I was on a roll swiping snow off the car and scooping it into the yard, so I helped her get inside and came back out, trusting her to look at books and build with legos while I finished up. This evening, after a few more inches had fallen, as meatballs were baking and noodles were boiling on the stove and we were waiting for Stuart to get home from work, I sneaked outside to do it all over again.

The snow hadn't stopped falling from the sky, but it had slowed down a little. There is something really cool about shoveling snow by porch light. I cleared off the car again, starting with the roof and working my way down. Then I scraped snow off the steps off the front porch and back deck. And last, my favorite part, clearing the driveway with the bent-handled shovel. It probably sounds crazy that I like this so much, and if this were the 3rd or 4th or 5th major snow of the season, I probably would be complaining right now instead of waxing poetic about it. But the truth is, there is satisfaction in the physicality of shoveling snow, and when you're working in the half-dark, it's all the more magical.

I get a rhythm going, you see. 1-2-3-4: step, scoop, toss, step-back Start in the middle, scrape diagonally toward the street, toss in the yard. When you get to the bottom, go back and do the other side. Husband comes home. "Hello," I say. "Can you check on the noodles? I'm having too much fun to quit." He shakes his head and goes inside. 15 minutes later, covered in powdery snow, my hair coming loose out of the ponytail (I didn't bother with a hat, and it's still kind of windy), I walk in the door, breathless, and call the kids for dinner.

out of season

2012-01-10T19:28:00.002-06:00

It's been unseasonably warm here. Feels a lot like we skipped over winter and went right into spring. Anya certainly thinks so!

goodbye to 2011

2011-12-31T20:16:00.003-06:00

I always get a little pensive at the year's end. This is normal in the dark days of winter, especially with the start of a new calendar year right around the corner. But my birthday is the 29th of December (as of Thursday I'm 33), tucked neatly in between Christmas and New Years Day, so easily forgotten (not ever by my family, though), and turning another year older always prompts me to reflect on my life and where it's going.

The last year has been remarkable for many in my family, in many ways. Daniel started off the year with so may ear infections he had to have surgery at the end of September to have tubes put in and his adenoids out, which seems to have solved the problem. Daniel and Anya both grew through a few shoe sizes, and they both started new schools. Anya started preschool and Daniel started kindergarten, so now we are experiencing Madison's public schools firsthand. So far the experience has been very positive for him, and positive for me as well, though very eye-opening. My brother got married at the very end of 2010 to a lovely, wonderful woman I'm so proud to call my sister-in-law. A few months later, he graduated with his PhD in Electrical Engineering from Virginia Tech. My parents-in-law sold their house in Kansas and in a few weeks are moving to North Carolina to be closer to Stuart's brother, so that will be a big change for us all.

And you can't deny that 2011 was a very interesting year to be living in Madison, Wisconsin! Time Magazine named "The Protester" as its Person of the Year for 2010. I know that across the country, most people think of the Arab Spring and Occupy Wall Street movement at the mention of the word "protest", but around these parts, last winter's massive and peaceful protests week after week at the Capitol (aka The People's House) are fresh, raw memories. We may not be marching out in the cold by the thousands, but this isn't over. Here's hoping 2012 is the year of the Recall of Governor Scott Walker. Here's hoping 2012 brings a wave of citizens standing up for our public institutions, our public employees, and saying "NO" to corporate greed and the war against the middle class.

So, yes, it's been a big year for many of us. I feel a bit like a bystander, watching all this pass me by. This fall when Daniel started KG and Anya began part-time preschool, I finally had a few hours to myself during the week. It's just enough time to go running, catch up on housework and get some practice time in, which is more than I've had since, well, ever, but I admit I've felt a little stuck. I haven't made any goals or resolutions for 2012, but I suppose I should. I could use a little adventure.

Happy New Year, everyone.

5 ways to beat the holiday stress

2011-12-21T18:26:00.004-06:00

Not that I've completely succeeded, mind you. I found myself wandering around a thrift store at 5:30 this afternoon with the vague purpose of finding wool garments to re-purpose as bags and random fun things for Anya to play dress-up with...not exactly a priority 4 days before Christmas, but there you are. At least I wasn't at the mall.

Anyway, for what it's worth, I present to you my list of Five Ways to Keep the Holidays As Stress-free As Possible:

1) Skip the cards. One week from tomorrow I will celebrate my 33rd birthday (with cake and maybe I'll get to see a movie??? in a theater???) and I have yet to send out a Christmas card, electronically or otherwise. It's just too much work. If you're family, you get emails every once in a while with cute pictures of my kids, and if you care, you follow this blog, and if you're neither, you're probably not worth it. Sorry. Tough shit. I know I sound harsh, but those who don't read, won't know, right?

2) Skip the baking. I remember a conversation a few years ago with some women a few decades my senior, in which they proclaimed boldly and proudly that they were cutting back on the holiday baking that year. There was a brief pause as they waited for the collective gasp. So? I thought to myself. There is a complete and total overload of sugar at the holidays anyway, who's going to miss another batch or ten of cookies? What's the big deal? To these women, though, this was a big deal, perhaps because the tradition of baking more cookies and fruitcakes than one family could possibly consume was so ingrained in their idea of the holidays, the thought of not doing it was a small rebellion (and a relief). I mean, if you enjoy it, go for it, but if baking is a source of stress, skip it. It's okay. (Full disclosure: I did commit to baking 60 cookies for Daniel's KG class to decorate in a party this week, but I did actually enjoy myself. And that's all the baking I did.)

3) Shop local. I'll save you my soapbox spiel about how shopping at local businesses instead of big box stores is better for the community and the economy. If you care a fig, you probably know this already, and if you don't care, I doubt I'll be able to convince you here. But how about this: going to smaller, locally owned stores saves you the stress and the lines and the Xtreme Parking of mall shopping. That's worth something, if you ask me.

4) See a live performance of something. A couple weekends ago, I went to see the WCO performance of Handel's Messiah. The main reason I went was to see my friend Julia sing the soprano solos (she was fabulous!!), but I ended up really enjoying the whole thing. This was a professional performance, not a sing-along, and I thought it might get a little, well, boring, to sit through a two-hour long oratorio. But it was great, and festive to boot. As corny as this sounds, good music can really help make the holidays special. Also, supporting your local orchestra/chorus/ballet company (one of these days we'll go see The Nutcracker) is a good thing.

5) If you're going to knit socks for someone who wears a size 12 men's shoe, you might want to start sooner than 7 days before Christmas. Need I say more? Some lessons I'm still learning...

4

2011-12-14T22:28:00.003-06:00

Today Anya turns four!

She's been excited about her birthday for weeks, and even woke up a couple of times in the middle of the night last night to chat about it: "Mom, what day is it today? Is today my birthday??"

Despite her excitement, Anya is a sensitive child, and easily overwhelmed, so I did my best to make her feel special without overdoing it. Presents in the morning, a trip to the store for a birthday balloon (this has become tradition somehow), I ate lunch with her at preschool and brought a special snack to share there, and a quick after-school trip to the children's museum, and her favorite dinner (spaghetti and meatballs) - it was just about right, though she did fall asleep in the car on the way back from downtown.

I'll spare you the gushy gushy that often accompanies birthday posts, but she is my girl and I am proud of her, so in honor of her 4th birthday, here is a list of 4 things you should know about Anya:

1) She has a remarkable memory. Example: the other day we were walking through the Chazen and when we passed the drinking fountains in the new wing, she stopped suddenly and said, "Mom, this is where you saw Scott!" The encounter in question happened about two months ago and only lasted a few minutes. I'd run into a composer friend (hi, Scott!) and we had one of those brief "catch-up-on-the-last-three-years-in-three-minutes" conversations before he had to go. I'd forgotten about it until she reminded me.

2) She loves numbers and counting. Anya and I play Parcheesi every morning after walking Daniel to school. Sometimes we play two or three games in a row. I usually let her win, but I've noticed she's gotten awfully quick adding up the dice and figuring out where her playing pieces will land. She has also learned how to count to 13 in Chinese and German from her preschool teachers (every day they count the kids in the class to see who's absent), and Daniel, who is in an after school Spanish class, has taught her to count to 39 in Spanish. She will demonstrate these skills to anyone who will stand still long enough to listen, I might add.

3) She loves to cut paper. Every night at pick-up time the biggest mess she's made is a layer of confetti on the floor of her room. Sometimes she cuts paper into bits, tapes those bits onto bigger pieces of paper, and then gives it to Daniel.

4) She is full of love and affection, though she is only comfortable expressing that with people she knows very, very well. I am lucky to be one of them.

freedom of speech

2011-12-06T20:23:00.004-06:00

Wisconsin State Constitution
Article 1, Section 4

The right of the people peaceably to assemble, to consult for the common good, and to petition the government, or any department thereof, shall never be abridged.

Yesterday, I heard this NPR report about the DOA's new requirements for protestors in the Capitol, and I was livid. Any intentional gathering of 4 or more people inside or 100 outside the building requires a permit 72 hours in advance, plus it's up to the discretion of the Capitol police to decide if protestors owe money for things like police presence and clean-up. (That's right, four people. Like, if my neighbor and I show up, each with our two kids - that would be 6 people total - and a couple of handmade signs, that could technically constitute a protest. They could fine us for not having a permit and charge us for clean-up if one of our kids drops a granola bar wrapper on the floor. Come on.) Walker calls it mere "clarification" of the rules of the permit process, but if you are paying attention at all, it looks more like an attempt to stifle dissent. Should the DOA and Capitol police attempt to enforce these rules, legal questions and challenges will most certainly abound.

Here's the thing about trying to stifle dissent: IT JUST MAKES US LOUDER. Many of us are more determined than ever to show up and express our First Amendment rights. And what better opportunity to do so than the daily noontime Solidarity Sing-along in the Rotunda? Side note: the Solidarity Singers have no intention of applying for one of Walker's permits; singing in the Rotunda is an expression of free speech, plain and simple. I brought Anya with me today and bribed her with a trip to the Children's Museum first and snacks for the Sing-along. We lasted 45 minutes before my voice and her snacks gave out, but not before I merrily joined the throng in singing favorite Christmas tunes with lyrics tweaked for the occasion, like "Holly Jolly Recall," "The Twelve Days of Scott Walker's Term," "O Come All Wisconsin" and "Have Ourselves a Merry Little Recall."

I am not an ethnographer or a musicologist (though I did minor in musicology for my doctorate), but I sincerely hope someone is documenting these Sing-alongs in a proper way. No other aspect of last winter's protests has been as expressive and as enduring.

winter slump, lame dinos, and christmas caroling

2011-12-04T16:42:00.003-06:00

Thanks for all the encouragement, everyone. This slump I'm going through is due to a combination of factors, one of which is most certainly this period of time as we close in on the winter solstice, when the days are so short I can see the sun low in the sky as early as 1:00 in the afternoon and there isn't yet snow on the ground to reflect the light. Instead the view outside is a mix of browns and grays from cloudy skies, bare trees and shriveled flowers in the garden. There is a beauty in this landscape, actually. It's one reason I can't quite bring myself to trim down my perennial garden in the late fall, though I probably should. I like seeing which plants stubbornly hang on after several nights of frost (snapdragons, sage, and parsley are among the hardiest), and once the snow falls, we enjoy watching the birds peck at dried flower heads.

As for the music thing...well, everyone keeps telling me to be patient. Once Anya's in school full-time I ought to be able to seek out more opportunities to play or even think about changing career direction, if that turns out to be what I want. In the meantime, I'm supposed to enjoy my time at home because they grow up so fast and all that.

Yesterday we went with a friend of Daniel's and his mom to a Discover the Dinosaurs "event" (I use this term very loosely) at the Alliant Energy Center. It was, in a word, a rip-off. We had to pay $6 just to park, the entrance tickets were expensive, and they didn't include any of the stuff the kids actually wanted to do (like face-painting and a bounce house). The exhibit was worthless, the place was loud and crowded, and the kids all ended up whining that they wanted to go to the bounce house, which was an hour wait and would have cost an extra $20. (We said no to the bounce house.) It was so stupid and lame that the other mom and I complained to a manager and got half our ticket money back. We ended up having a play date at our house instead, which was fun for the kids. We should have skipped the whole dino-lame thing and just done the play date in the first place.

Today, still feeling like I needed to cleanse my cultural palette of the dinosaur fiasco (OMG am I a total snob? Whimpering sigh...), I tried taking Anya to see Li Chiao Ping's The Knot Cracker. (Aside: I love modern dance. In my next life, I'll be the next Martha Graham.) Alas, the tickets were sold out when we got there, which was what I expected would happen, but I was disappointed anyway. Instead, we spent some time wandering the Overture Center and listening to the Madison Symphony Orchestra chorus sing Christmas carols from the balcony. It was beautiful. (And free.)

dr. who?

2011-11-28T07:37:00.003-06:00

The other day I popped into Whole Foods to get some guacamole (their guac is really good), and in the checkout line I noticed the cashier had written "Dr." in front of her name on her name tag. "Dr. ___?" I asked. "Yeah," she sighed, "I have a PhD." I pressed further: "What subject?" and she sourly named an area of biology that is probably hard to find a job in. By then I had paid and someone was waiting in line behind me, so the conversation was over.

I wonder why she seemed so unhappy. Maybe she simply was having a bad day. Maybe she doesn't like chatty customers. My guess, though, is that she resents having earned her doctorate and the best job she can find is working as a cashier at Whole Foods. I wanted to tell her that in my own small way, I can relate. I know what it's like to finish a doctorate, only to find yourself out of the field with an occupation with low (or no) pay and stifling tedium. (Not that we're alone, mind you. Half the cab drivers in this town have PhDs.)

I hate to say it, but lately I feel close to giving up entirely. I had to force myself to sit down and practice this afternoon. Once I got started, I enjoyed it, but it took giving myself a little talking-to. I'm just not in that groove these days. It's frustrating that family life constantly interrupts what little work I can find. I don't miss being a student, but I've been yearning for that feeling of being surrounded by other musicians and being stimulated by their energy and ideas. Every year that goes by since Anya was born, I feel like I lose a little bit more of that. I also feel like it doesn't even matter.

recall rally

2011-11-21T07:53:00.002-06:00

Saturday was the big rally in downtown Madison to kick-off the recall effort. I spent most of the day volunteering as a petition circulator, and since I had to be on my feet outside the whole time, I packed light and dressed warm. (This means I did not have my camera with me, so no pictures. Sorry.)

The day started at 9:00, where hundreds of volunteers packed into a downtown theater for a training session and pep rally. The highlight was a short, but energizing speech by (former) Senator Russ Feingold, who signed his petition to cheers and chants of "Run, Russ, Run!" (He has said he won't run against Walker in a recall election, but a whole lot of us wish he would.)

I spent the next five hours standing in front of the Capitol building with a clipboard, wearing a bright neon vest, and watching thousands of protestors stream by. Would you believe I only got one signature the whole day? Everyone who walked by had already signed. It was only when I took a walk around the Capitol square to warm up that I found one guy who hadn't signed yet. You might think I felt like my day volunteering as a circulator was a waste of time, but I don't think that at all. I would have gone to the rally anyway, every signature counts, and I'm glad I got that one. Besides, it's better that they had too many volunteers than too few.

So far more than 100,000 signatures have been collected since last Tuesday. 30,000 people were at the rally alone. I think we're off to a good start.

energized by the recall

2011-11-16T22:06:00.003-06:00

Lately I've been experiencing a bit of ennui. I think it's the shorter days, the chill in the air, the fact that I am between playing gigs (I should be getting music for a new opera any day now, though) and the feeling of being a little stuck in a rut before everything ramps up for the holidays.

Happily, this week I have a new distraction: the effort to recall Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker (and Lieutenant Governor Rebecca Kleefisch) for all the terrible stuff he has done since taking office in January of this year. Yesterday was the first day petitions began to circulate, and today I went to recall HQ to pick up my own hastily-made clipboard (it is seriously kludgy - thin particle board with a jumbo paper clip on the top, and they wanted a $1 donation for it, which I willingly contributed) and stack of petitions to circulate. I've picked up several signatures from people in the neighborhood and parents at the preschool already. This Saturday I've agreed to spend the entire day with several hundred other volunteers circulating petitions at a big rally (yo, if you live around here there is a BIG RALLY ON SATURDAY AT THE CAPITOL SQUARE). It will be cold, and it will probably rain, but as I always say, what's a protest in Madison without shitty weather?

first snowman of the year

2011-11-09T11:11:00.002-06:00

a few pictures from my yard

2011-11-05T17:32:00.002-05:00

We are getting ready for winter. Yesterday, after my tomato plants finally succumbed to the killing frost we had overnight (it was 25 degrees for the morning walk to school, though it warmed up quite a bit by the afternoon), I pulled them up and mulched the garden plot with leaves from the giant maple tree in the back yard.

The lettuce is still going strong. I think we'll have a salad from it with dinner tonight.

Speaking of that giant tree, this will probably be the last fall we have to deal with it. Assuming we can do a kitchen extension and remodel, that tree will have to come down. Sometimes, the thought of losing the maple makes me sad. It's as old as the house (probably) and provides us with lots of lovely shade in the summer. But it dumps so many helicopters in the spring and SO many leaves in the fall, all of which clog the gutters and carpet the yard, I won't be sorry not to clean those up. Also, it's perilously close to our house and our neighbors' houses/power lines/driveways, and I've been told silver maples have rather shallow root systems and rather weak branches, so it's just a matter of time before a big storm brings down a branch that damages someone's roof or smashes the car or pulls down a power line.

Maybe by this time next year the view above will just be clear blue sky.

leaves

2011-11-01T20:18:00.006-05:00

We had a great Halloween. Really, we did. School was out last Thursday and Friday for a teachers' convention, my parents drove up to visit during the break, the kids had adorable costumes (Daniel was a skunk! Anya was a ghost!), we went trick-or-treating and went to a neighborhood bonfire, and we celebrated my mom's birthday, all of which was so exciting we could hardly stand it.

But I didn't take a single picture of any of that stuff.* Not even the adorable costumes. Because sometimes I'm a sucky mommy-blogger. (Also, I kind of hate the term "mommy blogger." It implies that you shouldn't take me seriously. You should take me seriously. I'm very serious.)

As if this makes up for it, here is a short series of pictures of Anya playing in the leaves in our back yard this afternoon. Enjoy.

*All is not lost. My mom did take some pictures before trick-or-treating. When she sends them I'll post the good ones!

good reads

2011-10-23T20:14:00.005-05:00

I actually started this whole post as a list of random autumn stuff we're doing...but it was boring even me, and it's about my own pedantic life! The usual school's going great we visited an orchard and fed the sheep and can't wait for halloween there's a chill in the air is thanksgiving really just a month away? sort of stuff. I really don't need to elaborate further do I? Well, maybe with a cute picture of Anya feeding the sheep...

But anyway, on to other topics. Right now there is a thunderstorm raging outside. We've had such a dry autumn so far, and few storms (despite several windy days) that the flashes and crashes of lightening and thunder feel unfamiliar, even a little unsettling. It's the perfect sort of evening to curl up with a cup of hot something-or-other (cider, tea, spiked cocoa, take your pick) and read a good book, preferably of the escapist variety.

A few weeks ago I checked out Haiti After the Earthquake by Paul Farmer (and several guest essayists) from the library. It's tremendously interesting, and boy have I learned a lot about NGOs and the nature of humanitarian aid organizations. I've gained a lot of respect for Bill Clinton as well; he's been very involved there. It's also unexpectedly inspiring. You'd think that a book about such a horrific disaster in a country so ill-equipped to deal with it would be despondent, but it's not. Throughout the book rings the theme of resilience and determination of the Haitian people to take charge of their own country and build it back better.

Still, Haiti After the Earthquake is a fairly heavy book, and one night last week I decided I needed to read something less grounded in reality. It was too late to go to the library, so I browsed our shelves here. We don't own many books, actually, so my choices were limited. I found a paperback copy of Wuthering Heights. I've never actually read Wuthering Heights, though it must be my copy (can you imagine Stuart owning it for any reason?). The receipt was still in there, with a purchase date from my senior year of high school, so maybe I bought it then and just never got around to reading it.

Well, I'm reading it now and I'm not sure what to think. Except for the main narrator - Nelly the maid - the characters are all broody and selfish. For most of them, their lives are defined by a childhood of abuse, neglect and alcoholism, with a hefty dose of mental illness. And because this is a mid-nineteenth century English romantic novel, let's throw isolation and incestuous overtones into the mix. The lot of them need therapy, or at least a decent social worker. I know, I know. It's not fair to criticize a novel like Wuthering Heights from a modern perspective. (Or is it? Some of you Lit majors out there, feel free to chime in!) At the end of the day, I think I prefer Jane Eyre.

Still, I'm glad I'm reading Wuthering Heights. It is a classic after all, and there is something deliciously indulgent and escapist, if slightly adolescent, about a story with such unrestrained passion and misery. I know I would have loved it when I was 16. I should have read it then!

run, mama run

2011-10-17T17:32:00.004-05:00

It's been a stressful past few weeks, to be honest. Daniel had his surgery at the end of September, then Stuart had to travel for work twice in the first two weeks of this month, then Daniel was sick a couple days last week, and on top of all that I took on a couple of paying gigs at the school of music. None of these things on their own are really all that bad, but all together it's kind of a lot, and this weekend I just felt it all hit me after the fact. I felt anxious and stressed and a little bit like I'd lost a sense of normalcy.

In the midst of this, I started having trouble with my running shoes. For the past two years, I've been happily running 3.5-4.5 miles at a stretch in my VFFs with no issues whatsoever. Suddenly, a couple of weeks ago, I noticed that a couple of my left middle toes would get tingly and almost numb within the first half mile of a run, and then I had to compensate either by running completely barefoot - which I can't do yet for more than about a mile or mile and a half because the bottom of my feet aren't conditioned for it - or by changing my stride to favor my left foot, which in turn gave me shin tension in my shin.

I've never had running injuries worth speaking of, but I don't want to start. I decided it's time for some new shoes:

These are New Balance 10 trail shoes. Our health insurance has a nice rebate program for athletic shoes, plus there was a discount at the running store, so the purchase felt justified. I ran 4 miles in them this afternoon while the kids were at their respective places of education, and it. felt. great. I love these shoes. They have the same thin vibram sole as my VFFs, but with a wide toe box so my toes have room to spread out as needed.

It's not just the shoes, though. I needed that run today to help work the mild anxiety and stress of the past few weeks out of my system.

fall

2011-10-16T19:17:00.002-05:00

How about some fall clichés?

a letter to my refrigerator

2011-10-02T20:47:00.003-05:00

Dear Refrigerator,

Although we do not have an especially close relationship, you and I, I feel as though I should write to you and have my feelings out before you leave us for good. I hope that doesn't happen for a while, but lately you've been a little touchy, so I'm afraid we should prepare for the worst.

You came with the house, which we bought seven years ago. I don't know how old you were then, and at the time I didn't care. Home ownership was such a new and exciting stage in our young lives, the age of the appliances in our vintage kitchen didn't seem to matter. You are certainly newer than the kitchen itself, which still has its original white-painted metal cupboards with chrome hardware and porcelain sink. But you are not especially young.

Most worrisome, Refrigerator, is your shuddering gasp of a death rattle whenever the compressor shuts off. Over the last year or so it has gotten louder and louder. I know you are tired. I know you want a way out.

But, Refrigerator, please don't die. Not yet. I've adapted to your quirks. I've learned, for example, not to put anything in the back of the top shelf unless I want it frozen solid. I've learned to forgive the moron who designed the placement of the temperature knob to be in the perfect position for being knocked out of whack every time someone pulls out a jug of milk. It was probably that guy's first day on the job, and he didn't know that the appliance he designed was destined to live in a kitchen so small and poorly arranged that opening the refrigerator door would require that the table be scooted between 6 and 12 inches to the west, so help anyone sitting there actually eating a meal. I don't mind that the tracks for the cheese drawer have broken so the drawer never goes in straight. I don't even mind that we've had to put duct tape on the door to hold the shelves in three different times now. I suppose it was our fault for having too many condiments stored there.

But this morning, when the door wouldn't close at all, and we discovered that yet another piece had broken, rendering the bottom shelf crooked and unstable, requiring us to prop it up with cardboard pieces cut crudely from a box and covered with yet more duct tape, my husband Stuart and I had The Talk. We discussed what we would do when the inevitable happens. You see, replacing you is not so simple a task as just going to a retail establishment specializing in durable goods (as they say in economic speak) and buying a new fridge. The fact is, we want to expand and remodel the kitchen to accommodate the needs of our family. I don't mean to be harsh, but like the kitchen, you just aren't big enough for us. Unfortunately, there isn't space right now for a refrigerator any larger than you, so for now, you're all we've got. We've started to talk with a design firm, and we're moving ahead with the idea, but it's going to take some time to secure detailed plans and funds (oy), and until then, we need you to try your hardest to keep your chin up and keep cool. Literally.

If you leave us before we are ready, Refrigerator, we are screwed. We'll have some unpleasant choices to make, and quickly, because if there is anything in a household you can't live comfortably without for more than a day or so, it is the refrigerator. There are laundromats for when the washing machine goes, space heaters for when the furnace kicks it, and boiling water on the stovetop to pour a bath if the water heater crosses over, but short of buying bags of ice every two hours or running to the neighbor's house every time someone wants a glass of milk, you can't live without the fridge. If we have to replace you, we'll be forced to choose between buying a fridge too small for us that fits in your space, or buying an appropriately-sized one that doesn't yet have a kitchen to live in, which means we'll either have to move it or the table out to the living room until the remodel/expansion happens. None of these are attractive options.

So for the sake of my sanity, Refrigerator, hang in there. Stay with us until we figure this out. Please!

xoxo

Suze

Five on Friday: fall edition

2011-09-30T16:18:00.002-05:00

Daniel is recovering nicely, but there's nothing really to say about that, except that I have watched entirely too many hours of Winnie-the-Pooh and related spin-offs (have you ever seen Disney's My Friends Tigger and Pooh? If you have any loyalty to the original A.A. Milne stories, you'd find it as intolerable as I do). So instead of blogging about that, I'm totally piggy-backing on Jessi's post from today and doing a Friday Five list of Fall Favorites:

1. Leaves. Really, who can argue with fall leaves? Fall foliage can be so stunning, the trees exploding with a riot of color before they drop them all and go dormant for the winter. (My husband grumbles about the giant silver maple tree in our back yard dropping all its leaves in the gutters, which he has to clean out a few times every autumn season, and since I never climb up on the roof, I'll allow him that.) Also, there is nothing more fun for little kids than playing with fallen leaves, jumping in piles, throwing them around, crunching the dry ones on the side of the road on the way to school.

2. Fall vegetables. I do love me some squash soup, fried potatoes, beets in any form, sweet and chewy spinach, shallots in salad dressing, sliced raw kohlrabi, celeriac cooked with white beans, carrots in just about anything, baked sweet potatoes with butter and a little brown sugar, and I even like parsnips. I'm alone in that last one, I'm afraid. I did just find a recipe for parsnip muffins by Alton Brown that I'm looking forward to trying out once they show up in the CSA box.

3. Halloween. I'm not as passionate about Halloween as some people out there, but it sure is fun for the kids. Since last year, Daniel has been planning to dress up as a skunk. He actually wants the whole family to dress up as skunks, which sounds like fun except that Anya wants to be a ghost (original, I know), so I guess we'll be three skunks and a ghost. I'm thinking with black hoodies and some white fleece or craft felt I'll be able to come up with skunk costumes without too much trouble.

4. School. I don't miss going to school myself, since I have spent so much of my adult life as a student, but as far as I'm concerned, Kindergarten is the best. invention. ever.

5. Apples. I suppose these could just fall under the "autumn produce" general category, but I am listing them separately. I love apples and all related apple products - cider, pie, applesauce - though I think the best way to enjoy a good apple is just to eat it down to the core. We're lucky to have several good orchards in the area, some who are vendors at local farmers markets, and nothing beats apple-picking in the sunshine.

quick update

2011-09-28T19:03:00.002-05:00

Here's a quick update on Daniel, since so many of you have kindly called or emailed or left comments to ask how he's doing. The procedure went fine. The surgeon removed a whopper of an adenoid and got the tubes in without trouble. Waking up was such an ordeal that I got very lightheaded and had to lie down on a cot with a cup of apple juice. (As humiliating as it was, this reaction by mothers of seeing their kid coming out of surgery is fairly common. I was the second of the morning.) It took a while before Daniel was ready to come home. He seems to have a hard time with anesthesia, unfortunately. However, this will pass, and the good news is that the surgery went well and accomplished what it was supposed to. By next week, he should be back to his normal self.

As for Anya, she had a fabulous day hanging out with various friends and neighbors and going to preschool. At least one of us can end the day smiling!

tomorrow

2011-09-27T20:32:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow is the big day. Daniel is scheduled to have the procedure to have ear tubes put in and adenoids removed at 9:00. We have to be there a couple hours ahead of time, so Anya gets to hang out with the neighbor for breakfast, and then a friend of mine is coming over to watch her until either Stuart and I can run her to preschool while Daniel's in recovery. Several people have offered to help out with Anya, more than I can take advantage of, and this I found quite touching.

Even though I know everything will be fine, I'm anxious to get the whole thing over with. I'm most apprehensive about the early morning, actually, since he's not allowed to eat or drink anything and will be hungry and thirsty and probably cranky about it. Afterwards, we'll hunker down with lots of videos and popsicles and try to make the most of a few days off. The end result is that he'll stop snoring and he'll be able to hear properly, so it's definitely good for the long run.

I am telling myself it certainly could be worse. Daniel's teacher at school is out for the week trying to pass a kidney stone. I'm sure this is small potatoes in comparison.

love notes and life lessons

2011-09-23T13:06:00.004-05:00

Kindergarten is going very well for Daniel. He loves his teacher, gets along with the kids in his class, and somehow still has energy to burn at the end of the school day. Academically, he is doing just fine. He seems to have above-average math skills (which comes as no surprise, actually. I don't think there is anyone in either my family or Stuart's who had trouble with math), and I can tell he's improving leaps and bounds with reading and literacy.

A few nights ago at bedtime, he had a special request for me. "Mom, when I wake up in the morning, do you suppose there might be a little love note from you under my pillow?" he asked. Of course I obliged, and I have every night since then. I usually just write something simple like "Dear Daniel, I hope you have a good day. I love you. Mom." Daniel has been returning the favor, leaving little notes he write himself on our pillows and in our dresser drawers. This morning I found one he wrote to Anya. It said: DEAR ANYA I LOVE U HAVE A GOOD DAY U ARE A GOOD GERLL AND I HOPE THIT U THINGCK THIT U LOVE ME I THINGCK U SHUD LOVE ME ("Dear Anya, I love you. Have a good day. You are a good girl and I hope that you think that you love me. I think you should love me.") My heart melted a little. Also, he needs to learn how to spell "that," "girl" and "think."

That boy is so full of kindness and love, it just spills out of him. I worry sometimes that this translates into naivety, and that more calculating children will take advantage of his generous spirit. I'm talking about bullies. More than once, Daniel has come home and talked about a bully on the playground, an older kid who pushes others off the equipment and gets into trouble. So far, the kindergarteners have not been targets of this behavior, so Daniel speaks as a witness and not as a victim. I tried explaining to him that some kids come from homes where they aren't treated well, where grown-ups aren't nice to them, so they bring their anger and bad behavior to school. It's not an excuse, I said, but it helps explain why bullies act the way they do.

There are some lessons in life we all have to learn one way or another. It's hard knowing that sooner, rather than later, my kid will learn that life is simply unfair for a lot of people out there. He will see suffering, poverty, racism, and just plain bad behavior, and not because he doesn't go to a good school (his school has a very good reputation, and as far as I can tell, its reputation is well-founded), but because this is simply the reality of public schools, even good ones. I wasn't naive enough myself to believe otherwise, but the reality is starting to sink in for me.

2011-09-20T20:50:00.003-05:00

Gah, for all of you who read that self-indulgent post of a few days ago, thank you. For those of you who skipped, I don't blame you. I don't want to give a false impression here, that I'm unhappy or pining away or having regrets about my life. For the most part, I'm pretty okay with what I'm doing. I certainly know that my kids, my family, are better off with me as a SAHM right now. As tempted as I am to insert a snarky comment right here about how it would be nice for anyone to have an unpaid worker hanging around the house all day fixing their meals and doing their laundry, I know that my work here is more than that.

My conundrum is that it seems like the way I spend my time is best for everyone's intellectual well-being except mine. And you know, as it turns out the universe does not revolve around me, and the sun will continue to rise on our ever-warming planet whether or not I claw my way up the professional academic ladder. I should probably get over myself, you're thinking. I'm working on it, really I am.

It's just that mixed up in this cocktail of emotions is vague resentment that I am the one letting my career path lead to a dead end because I am the one with a uterus. If I were a dude, I know things would be different, and that bugs me.

Okay, okay. All that said, I'm willing to count my blessings and let this topic go, at least for now.

So anyway, changing the subject...I volunteer in Daniel's KG classroom for about an hour a week, on Tuesday afternoons. I wasn't sure I would like it at first, but it turns out that I love it. I'm really glad I'm doing it. For one thing, I can see what actually goes on in there. Kids line up outside in the morning before school and meet their parents/bus drivers outside in the afternoon when school is done, so if I wasn't spending time in the classroom, I'd have no idea what it's like. For another thing, I am getting to know the kids in Daniel's class. They call me "Daniel's mom", which is actually kind of cute. Anya comes along with me, and a few of the girls in the class kind of dote on her.

It's not always easy. By the end of the day, the kids are tired and squirrelly and not necessarily willing to focus. I help out with math activities and free choice, depending on what the teacher has planned for that time period. Today, I was supposed to help individual kids with math activities like sorting noodles (according to shape or color), writing numbers, and counting to 11 forwards and backwards. One girl was resistant. She didn't want to count, and said she couldn't. I asked her to try, and she did fine counting forwards, but she simply could not count down from 11. I had her try just from 5, and she could when she repeated after me, but couldn't on her own. I simply didn't know what to do. This child is well-behaved and attentive and very creative, as I have witnessed with the projects she comes up with during free choice time. I don't know if the problem was that she couldn't read the numbers yet, or if she was just tired and unwilling to try, or what. As it turned out, the teacher called for the kids to clean up, so I didn't pursue it further. Teaching kindergarten can't be easy.

did i succeed?

2011-09-18T20:20:00.004-05:00

Mostly, I feel like I'm doing the right thing, by which I mean my "decision" (was it a decision, really?) to be a SAHM. Certain aspects of our family life are important enough to us - eating at home together, parental involvement in school(s), community involvement - that my role as a mother and community member is important and valid, and makes it totally okay that I have put aside any serious aspirations of pursuing a career that actually challenges me intellectually.

I have my moments, though. Like today, when Daniel said something about how mothers don't work. I do not know where he came up with this idea. I told him that some mothers go to work, and some mothers consider their work to be the time they spend with their families (like me) and that either path in life is valid, and that also, some mothers simply don't have a choice in the matter. Either they must to go a paying job, or they don't, and sometimes, either decision is a necessity. I'm not sure how much of this got through to him, but I hope that at the very least, he understands that what I do is, indeed, actually work, even if I don't get paid for it, and that other mothers he knows who go to a paying job, do so for good reasons.

(Don't get me started on the discussions we've had about race. This public school thing is probably harder for me than him, because he is young and naive, and I am naive but not so young. The race thing - it's terribly complicated. A whole 'nuther blog post, too.)

=====

So here it is, if I may. I am constantly conflicted. Am I a wasted talent, as a smart and reasonably talented person who has chosen (did I really choose???) to spend her time taking care of her family? Or am I to be admired for focusing my talents in the domestic sphere, in the interest of family stability and nurturing my children? I honestly don't know.

I suspect that there is no straight answer to this question, because the answer would depend on how one places one's priorities. What is more important: career or family? For people like me, the priority is clear.

I spent some time this evening talking to a friend of mine, whose husband is in the local academic community (he's a grad student at UW), and we were talking about departments and hiring. Some departments at the UW are willing to hire their own graduates, and some aren't. I said the school of music tends not to hire their own, and at the very least, they wouldn't hire me, and she said, "Why? Are you too much of a troublemaker?" and I laughed and said, "No, I'm just not good enough." I'm not.

Maybe that's the real truth. I hide behind my fear and insecurities. I could gripe about how you're forced to choose one priority over another, but maybe it's just a cover. I'm better off "making the decision" to volunteer at my kids' schools and cook from-scratch meals every night because I simply can't cut it as a musician. I have yet to meet a former colleague - fellow grade students and professors both - who hasn't congratulated me on the fact that I am staying home to raise my kids. Clearly, the musical community hasn't missed a thing by not having me present as an active member.

Can this be me? I was voted "most likely to succeed" in my high school graduating class. Have I succeeded? If so, in what? Changing diapers? Lefty rants?

I remember this one moment, so clearly, in 7th grade. We had this class called "Discovery" that was the sort of feel-goodery self-esteem nonsense that some people hate, but at the time I loved. We read, we wrote, we discussed our feelings, and we had a teacher to whom I was absolutely, unequivocally devoted. She read Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea out loud to us and I was so riveted I checked it out of the library and read it myself to find out the ending before anyone else. (That, by the way, is the one and only Hemingway novel I've ever been able to finish reading.) I was so young and innocent I didn't understand the fisherman died at the end until she explained it to me when I admitted I'd read it before she got to the end in our class...

Anyway, this moment: we were supposed to write an essay about our dreams of our futures and read them aloud. It was a safe environment, where we could say out loud whatever we believed and wanted to believe about ourselves. I have no memory at all about what I actually wrote. Before we read our essays for the class, however, we would stand there and wait for the class to speculate about us, what we appeared to be to them. One large black boy, Gary, looked like a preacher to all of us, and he talked at length about meeting Jesus at the golden gate. (I have no idea what happened to him.) When I stood before the class, I remember I was wearing a long, pink buttoned-down shirt. I had dorky glasses and permed hair. I was wearing glasses, shrimpy, flat-chested and younger than everyone else by a year because I had skipped the 3rd grade, and though I don't remember at all what I imagined for my own future, everyone in the class thought I looked smart. "Brain surgeon!" someone called out. "She'll find the cure for AIDS!" said someone else. (Remember when AIDS was the most frightening thing? Soooo 90s.) I had a distinct reputation for being smart. And I don't know that I was so smart, necessarily, just not good at anything else.

Did I do the right thing pursuing music? Pursuing full-time motherhood? Is career really so important? Would my kids be okay if I was out there trying to cure AIDS? Am I hiding behind motherhood as an excuse for not doing more with the talents I chose to pursue?

Clearly, this is a conundrum I have yet to solve. Maybe I never will. I'm still trying to figure it out and get life into perspective.

ENT

2011-09-15T16:21:00.005-05:00

Have I mentioned yet that Daniel has chronic ear infections? I may have alluded to this problem a couple of times, but since I try to keep sick-blogging to a minimum, I probably have spared you the details. He's had at least six or seven since the beginning of the year. Honestly, I lost count because there were a few times when he'd finish a round of antibiotics (which got steadily more powerful and less effective, I might add) and start complaining of an earache the very next day. The last two, or possibly three, were in July, and the fact that we've gone two months since the last visit to urgent care is, frankly, worth noting.

We got a referral to see a pediatric ENT specialist, and Daniel finally had the big appointment at the children's hospital this afternoon. There was also a sophisticated hearing test. Everything went pretty much as I expected: he's got plenty of fluid still in his ears, though no current infection, and has significant hearing loss as a result. Fortunately, the hearing nerve is totally normal, so the hearing loss is all because of the fluid, which is completely correctable. Surgery is recommended to correct the problem. He'll need tubes to drain his ears properly and the doctor will also remove an adenoid. Because Daniel hasn't had recurring ear infections before this age, enlarged adenoids are probably the culprit; this is apparently most common in children ages 4-8. The whole procedure will take about a half hour, but recovery - which includes a week of fatigue, sore throat and skunk breath from the adenoidectomy- means he'll miss several days of school. I wouldn't want to send him to school with skunk breath, yo.

I have no idea when they'll have an opening for the surgery. Maybe in two weeks, maybe in two months, who knows? They wouldn't tell us. I'm trying not to be a big ball of nerves and anxiety. I'm trying to keep this all in perspective and remember that there are children in that very hospital with far worse medical problems than clogged up ears. It's hard, though, because of course he is my child. I wish I could endure the pain and discomfort for him, but I can't. (I've actually had a few ear infections this year, myself, but unfortunately they don't do anything to alleviate his!) I just have to keep telling myself: it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. In the long run, it's going to be okay.

labor day

2011-09-05T10:02:00.002-05:00

This Labor Day spending the day as a family, going on a picnic, bike rides for Daniel and Stuart, and cooking hamburgers (out of grass-fed locally produce beef, of course). I sort of feel like we should be rallying somewhere or at least going to the Capitol for the sing-along, or doing something to acknowledge the important historical role unions and organized labor have had in fighting for fair working conditions and wages. Not to mention weekends.

I feel a little guilty about the fact that we're not doing any of those things, considering the plight of public workers here since the beginning of the year. I suppose this blog post is my brief tribute to the men, women and children who over the past 200 years literally gave life and limb advocating for better working conditions and fair wages. We should never underestimate the tremendous effort and sacrifice that was and is the labor movement, and though we often take for granted such perks as sick leave and weekends off, we really shouldn't.

This guy says it better than I do.

So Happy Labor Day, everyone. If you have the day off (and if you don't, I'm truly sorry), take a moment and thank the unions.

daniel's first day of school

2011-09-01T20:33:00.004-05:00

Daniel's first day of kindergarten was today. No tears were shed, though seeing other parents wiping their eyes nearly got me going. I made it, though.

And Daniel, as far as I can tell, had a pretty good day. We walked to school with the family across the street, whose son is Daniel's good friend in first grade. This past Monday, I dropped by the classroom to sign up for volunteer hours, and during that time we met another little boy in his class. "O" was there with his mom, and he and Daniel played a few minutes on the playground before we left. They hit it off pretty well, so they had each other as buddies when we arrived this morning. (I have a sweet picture of the two of them, but I didn't ask permission to post it, so I'm not going to.) Also, Daniel's teacher is by all accounts excellent, so I am feeling pretty optimistic about the coming year.

Unfortunately, it was a hot day - over 90 - and the school isn't air conditioned. So after a sticky, sweaty walk home and snack of fruit popsicles, we headed to the pool for what was probably the last outdoor swim of the season (tomorrow will be warm, too, but it's also supposed to storm).

I wonder what, if anything, Daniel will remember about his first day of kindergarten? As he was going to sleep tonight, I told him all I could remember about my first day of kindergarten. All I remember is what I wore (a jumper with a strawberry appliquéd on the front), and the fact that I went to the wrong class on my very first day.

first week of school and raspberry picking

2011-08-31T20:41:00.005-05:00

The first week of school is a crazy patch work of fits and starts and not-quites, short days and meetings with teachers and forms to fill out and fees to pay. I've been to what feels like dozens of orientation sessions and open houses and met 1,000 other parents and kids whose names I promptly forgot (they all probably forgot my name, too, so it's okay). I'm just ready for it all to get rolling so I can feel like we're in a routine.

Today was Anya's first day of preschool...

...and Daniel's first day of kindergarten is tomorrow. Yesterday was the last day for the kids and me to enjoy our time together before school starts, so I said to the kids we could do whatever they wanted, their choice. I braced myself for a trip to the zoo or children's museum - fine places to visit, to be sure, but also guaranteed to be packed with families cramming in one last visit before the start of school. Instead, my children surprised me with a mutual request to go raspberry picking. I was more than happy to oblige.

We packed a modest picnic and headed down to Sutter's Ridge. It's not really that far from Madison, but driving out on those county roads makes it feel pretty remote. It was absolutely delightful. It was a cool and cloudy morning, and no one else was in the raspberry field but us. (A car full of hired pickers showed up, but they went to a different raspberry patch at the top of the hill, so we were essentially alone.)

This is the view from the raspberry field. See the horses? It's downright bucolic.

Here are my enthusiastic pickers, buckets in hand! The cart is unmanned and works by the honors system. You just stick your money into a lock box. I usually try and add a buck or two extra to account for all the berries we eat straight off the plants!

Finally, the irresistible raspberries themselves.

They were practically falling into our buckets off the plants. We came home with enough for a big batch of jam, some to freeze plain, and plenty to eat for snacks. I'm running out of room in the freezer, but it's still tempting to go back and get more for fruit sauce and popsicles and whatever else I can think of. I'm so glad my kids wanted to spend our special day berry-picking.

THIS is why teachers need effective unions

2011-08-30T18:07:00.003-05:00

I just copied and pasted this from defendwisconsin.org. It's a letter sent to the staff of the New Berlin district. Would YOU teach under these conditions? Would you want YOUR children being taught by people working under these conditions?

-----

Dear Staff-

Elections have consequences. The changes forced on us by Walker’s new laws appear to be but the tip of the iceberg. Below, I have outlined what the NBEA was told is contained in draft version of a new handbook meant to replace our legally binding contract. It was shared on a Smartboard with school leadership teams. This was not a collaborative effort, but presented as a completed draft. Leadership teams asked for clarification on items and were told there may be changes.

Please plan on attending the August 29′h School Board Meeting at New Berlin West meeting at 6:30 to impress upon the board the need for moderation and to ask they work with the union on this handbook. It is only through our solidarity that we can let the Board know we object to the punitive terms listed below. You do not need to speak unless you desire to do so; the NBEA will be speaking on your behalf. Do not let the BOE pass this quickly one day prior to the first day of school. We are asking that all teachers (and supportive family and friends) attend and be present at 6:30 PM in the parking lot west of the New Berlin West library to walk in together. Please wear Red. We will leave directly after the speakers are done and the regular meeting begins (approximately 7:30 PM). For those who plan on speaking, please email me- themes and issues you would like to raise.

More Time; Less Pay:

Workdays for elementary will increase by 60 minutes and Secondary by 30 minutes
Staff must be available to students before and after student schedules for at least 30 minutes per day
You can be required to work an additional unpaid 15 hours; no more than 3 hours a week
No set pay for overtime; only stipends
No pay for subbing during your preps; Principals can assign you to sub
Certified staff hours are 1520 per year full time (190 days for this year only)
The 2012-13 school year starts on August 15′h and runs until June 15′h
You may be required to start as early as 6:15 AM and end as late as 5:00 PM
No pay for any attendance at IEPs prior to 5:00 PM
You may be required to attend inservice or other training, outside your regular work schedule
Next year, if we do not change the political landscape, pay will be based on performance; pay is insured this year because of the NBEA agreement.
This Year, Elementary Will Be Working An Additional 205 Hours Without Additional Pay; Secondary An Additional 95 Hours Without Additional Pay; Next Year, Add 80 More Hours To That Total, Since We Will Be Starting August 15th And Ending June 15th

Insurance:

Full details not be revealed until September 8th; changes occur October 1
Possible 80/20 plan and we pay additional premium if the cost of insurance rises
$4,000 deductible with a $10 generic/ $50 brand drug cost
The deductible can be reduced by $3,000 if employee and spouse fully participate in the Wellness Program
Full participation in wellness program: health risk assessment, including biometrics, refrain from use of illegal drugs, participate in program to reduce risk factors, coaching, diet, behavior, follow up medical care, smoking cessation. 1st year: participate, 2nd year: have to take classes to reduce risk factors.
False reporting, such as claiming you do not smoke when you do, can result in dismissal.
Other details, such as increased co-pays TBD

Retirement:

$15,000 payout and age 55 retirement has been eliminated
Retire by 2016 at age 57 with 20 years at New Berlin, receive insurance until age 65
Retire by 2021 at 57 with 20 years, receive 3 years of insurance
Retire after 2021 no benefit packages given.
5.8% of your salary will be deducted for state retirement benefits (pension system)

The Ridiculous, Punitive New Rules:

You are not allowed to drop any licensure without the superintendent’s approval
Dress Code: Skirts below knee, no sweatshirts, no jeans, no large logos, no open shirts, etc.
Be dismissed for having students as friends on Facebook
Grievance: only in termination, discipline or alleged workplace safety issues; you cannot grieve non discipline issues are the items listed under non discipline items such as suspension, letters in file, plans of improvement, etc.
Jury Duty: regular pay, but you must show documentation to the district that you’ve tried to change the jury duty time to July and August
School calendar same, teacher convention will be professional development for this year only since it is part of the NBEA working agreement for this year.
Evaluations: Done yearly without notice
Collaborative time twice weekly for 2 hours a week.
You must report all traffic incidents (except speeding) or any tickets you have received to the District within 3 days or face dismissal even if it occurs during your time off
Take away all microwaves, refrigerators, and coffeemakers, even though each administrator and the District have these items.

Sick Days or Leave:

4 initial days and earn l!I day per month based on good attendance
However those who have accumulated over 45 days will not be awarded any days until they have used enough days to fall below the 45 day cap.
Long term disability reduced from 90% of pay to 60% of pay. If ill or have had surgery and do not have any sick time built up, you will be short pay. You will also have to pay your insurance premium during any disability leave.
No days will be added to sick bank, which will be discontinued after this year, erasing any safety net for those who become critically ill.

Want to Leave? Well, they are not letting us go without penalties:

Resign before first day of school, you must pay $200 plus board contributions of benefits (insurance).
Resigns after the first day school, $2000 plus benefits payments if not 60 days notice given
Compensation: -5taff will be issued a contract for pay not less than the amount of their pay in the year before the effective date of this handbook. Please report any effort to ask you to sign any additional “individual teaching contracts” unless they are co-curricular.

my little vegetarian

2011-08-27T18:16:00.005-05:00

A few weeks ago, Daniel announced that he wanted to "not eat meat anymore, just like Grandpa." Stuart's dad has been a vegetarian for several decades. This hasn't been easy, given that he has spent that time in southern Africa and south central Kansas. People in those places love eating meat, is what I'm saying. I'm not sure what inspired Daniel to declare himself meat-free, other than the fact that he clearly admires his grandpa and wants to imitate him. He's five years old, so I'm not sure how much the idea of killing an animal and butchering it for food is on his radar; in fact, since his announcement, he's made a couple of exceptions for meatballs and hot dogs because those are things he loves to eat.

The important thing, though, is that Daniel has asked us several times why Grandpa doesn't eat meat. And we answer as succinctly and clearly as we can*, in terms that we hope he understands. In fact, our response reflects why we are incredibly selective about the meat we eat, and why we have it so infrequently:

1. Because the way many animals are raised and butchered is cruel to them.
2. Because the way many animals are raised is bad (terrible, in fact) for the environment.
3. Because the way many animals are raised and butchered is bad for small farmers and rural communitites.
4. Because the way many animals are raised and butchered poses a serious threat to public health.
5. Because we need to be conscious of what we eat and the larger impact of what we put on the table every single night.

For my FIL, this means eating no meat at all, which is a standpoint I can identify with. Stuart and I were vegetarian for quite a while for all of those reasons, and buying meat that was sustainably produced was (still is) quite expensive. Years of pregnancy and breastfeeding - simultaneously, for a time - sent me back to eating meat on occasion because I just needed the protein and calories. (Also, I've lived in Wisconsin for over a decade and have developed an appreciation for brats I never could have anticipated as a young, naive, veggie-lovin' quasi-hippie college student. Also beer. Mmmm beer.)

I've been reading a book called Animal Factory by David Kirby (link to the official website that is NOT AMAZON!!), and I'm learning a lot about CAFOs (concentrated animal feeding operations) and their impact to the environment and rural communities, and the people who have fought tirelessly against the devastating pollution they have caused. (It's not just the smell, yo, it's pig shit in the water supply). I'm learning about how the laws and government are essentially set up to protect factory farms and large corporations instead of individuals and smaller, sustainable operations. I'm learning about how ineffective the EPA, USDA and FDA really are at both state and federal levels. I'm learning that it's not just Republicans responsible for this carnage, either, I might add. There are serious systemic problems that need to be addressed.

Anyway, it's a good read and I would recommend it to anyone. And in a section recounting a conference for sustainable farming that was held shortly after the 9/11 attacks, there was a transcript of a prayer by Saint Basil:

O God, enlarge within us the sense of fellowship with all living things, even our brothers and sisters the animals, to whom you have given the earth as their home in common with us. We remember with shame that in the past we have exercised our high dominion with ruthless cruelty so that the voice of the earth, which should have gone up to you in song, has been a groan of pain. May we realize that they live, not for us alone, but for themselves and for you, and that they love the sweetness of life.

I think that says it in a nutshell.

So Little Daniel, if you want to be a vegetarian, you have my blessing. You're already such a picky eater, I might as well adjust.

*I think there are other personal and philosophical reasons that Stuart's dad doesn't eat meat. I won't try to put words in his mouth or pretend that I can articulate the details and nuances of his reasoning here. But I think the broad reasons are essentially the same.

end of summer in pictures

2011-08-22T21:29:00.002-05:00

weekend highlights

2011-08-21T17:11:00.004-05:00

Last night I tried to remember the last time we (by "we" I mean our family of four) had the weekend to ourselves. I think it might have been the weekend of July 4, though we did go to a grill-out and were frantically getting the basement ready for Stuart's parents, so I'm not even sure that counts. Anyway, as lovely a summer as we've had, with family visiting from out of town and traveling and all that, it was really nice to have a whole weekend with no traveling, no visitors, and no social obligations whatsoever. It helps that the weather has been so gorgeous you can't help but smile.

My only goals were to get the house clean and go raspberry-picking. The house isn't clean yet, though Stuart made some headway on a major organizing project downstairs, a project involving a trip to Home Depot to buy a hammer drill and subsequent trips to the hardware store for miscellaneous screws and such. And we did go raspberry-picking this morning, out at Door Creek Orchard, which is really more of a place for apples than raspberries, but we came home with 4 pints (2 of which have already been consumed; fresh raspberries are like candy) and the happy feeling of having spent an hour outdoors in one of the prettiest spots in Dane County. I plan to return several times in the next couple of months to pick apples, buy cider and enjoy the scenery.

Also, the owners of the orchard recently adopted a puppy named Georgia. Georgia is a rescue dog, and happens to be The Cutest Puppy I have ever met. We were all taken by Georgia, especially Anya, who absolutely loves animals. This she must get from her dad. I never had a pet growing up - one brief stint with a wily Houdini-like gerbil notwithstanding; I'll tell you all about it sometime - and as an adult, I've never been interested in pets. Too smelly, too much hair, too much poop to clean up, cats make my dad sneeze, our house is small - you name it, I have the excuse. But Stuart had pet dogs growing up; that combined our daughter's magnetic and automatic attraction to anything remotely furry and cute gives me the rather foreboding feeling that my family will one day all turn on me and beg for a pet, in particular a dog. And if we can find one even half as sweet and soft and cute as Georgia From The Apple Orchard, I might, just might, give in. I dunno...dogs may be cute, but they still can produce a heck of a lot of poop.

While I'm going on about animals, I might as well mention that while I was running early this morning, I saw a gorgeous pair of birds. I was running on a bike path by a golf course, and a woman out walking her dog beckoned to me and silently pointed out two large, tall, gangly birds with long beaks and red markings on their heads. "Herons?" I said quietly to her. "Egrets?" she responded, and we both shrugged, then continued on our respective ways. When I got home, I looked them up in the "wading birds" section of my bird book, and the closest match was Sandhill Cranes. I tell you this as an example of how I love encountering nature in my city. We live near a conservation park, where we sometimes see wild turkeys wandering the restored prairie, and we often hear coyotes at night when the bedroom windows are open; they start howling in response to the sirens of emergency vehicles and the barking of neighborhood dogs.

We've been eating well, too, this weekend. Last night Stuart made fried tofu, breaded with cornstarch and spices. This afternoon, the kids and I cut two giant bowls full of fresh herbs to make pesto. We made two batches of traditional basil pesto, plus one batch of pesto made with parsley and sage. It's something I've never tried before, but I have an abundance of parsley this year, and I didn't want it to go to waste. It turns out, by the way, that parsley pesto is delicious. I'm not sure how to use it yet, but maybe I'll toss it with chopped tomatoes from the garden and chunks of fresh mozzarella.

We have one full week plus a few days before the school year starts. Wish me luck, everyone. I thought I was all ready for Daniel to start kindergarten, but it may turn out to be harder than I anticipated. He's ready, I know, and it will be good for everyone for him to be in school, but as much as I hate to admit it, I'm realizing that I have some emotions to work through. Enrollment for Madison's elementary schools was a few days ago, and I went completely unprepared. I ran into a friend of mine, who saw my shell-shocked face and offered to take Daniel and Anya to the playground outside the school while I went through the line of forms to fill out and volunteer positions to sign up for. I gratefully accepted. I think what's so hard is that life is going to change, mostly for the better, but there is no going back, and I just need to be ready for that.

I'm glad I have had this weekend to spend time with my family and relax a little, and think about all of that.

famine

2011-08-16T20:29:00.002-05:00

This evening as I was fixing dinner, I reflected briefly on the abundance of produce we have now. Dinner was pizza made from scratch, with fresh tomatoes and basil from the front yard serving as the main toppings. As I grated cheese and sprinkled kosher salt on the crust, Daniel and Anya were playing outside in the sprinkler, ostensibly watering the front garden, but I think they had moved it to maximize their fun, which meant the water was mostly hitting the grass instead of the plants I really wanted watered. No matter, I thought lightly, as long as they're having fun. Life is good.

Then NPR's All Things Considered turned to a report on the drought and famine in Somalia, and the terrible crisis of starvation and displacement. The host spent several minutes interviewing a medical doctor with a distinct southern accent, who detailed the extent of over-crowded refugee camps, malnourished mothers, children on the brink of death, a measles outbreak, and the difficulty addressing these problems with corrupt governments, renegade military officials and regional bureaucracies standing in the way. This doctor pointed out that the U.S. spends a fraction of a percent of its total spending on foreign aid, and to raise that number even a little bit could save many lives and make a big difference in this crisis. This doctor also implored listeners with a little cash to spare to give to any organization they trust to help alleviate the tremendous suffering in the horn of Africa.

As I listened to this interview, I was washing lettuce. Pulling the leaves out of the bowl of water, I paused and listened to the doctor on the radio tell how hydration treatments (water fortified with vitamins) could bring children back from the brink of death, and one treatment cost less than a penny. Here, I had an entire bowl full of water, enough to save a child's life, that I was about to pour down the sink. Consumed with guilt and sadness at my own naiveté, I took it outside to water some plants, though even that seemed frivolous since they were only flowers.

The interview concluded. "Thank you, Dr. Frist," the NPR hostess said, and then I realized why his southern twang was so familiar. This wasn't just any doctor. This was Dr. Bill Frist, former Republican Senator from Tennessee, the sort of guy I loved to hate when he was in office. That was during the Bush years, of course, when it was easy for people like me to rant and rave and despair at the things being done in Washington in the name of politics.

But it should come as no surprise, really, that Bill Frist is a real human being. I couldn't abide him as a politician, and I remember my husband and me saying, more than once, how could a medical doctor, a man of education and - supposedly - scientific and medical training, in good conscience stand so firmly against things like the reality of global warming and evolution and a woman's right to choose what happens to her own body and all that other stuff the right loves to hate? I suppose that is what separates the man from the politician. And also, he's presumably a rich guy who loves his low taxes and was willing to go along with all the rest of it to stay in office and gain prominence.

The super-cynic in me wants to know where Bill Frist the Senator stood on things like money spent on foreign aid and foreign policy for rogue governments like the one in Somalia before this crisis. The super-cynic in me is also curious to know what he will gain with his new non-profit and initiative to help the people there in a very public way. But I am setting all that aside now to say that until I knew who he was, I felt nothing but respect for this man, who is willing to go to one of the most miserable places on the planet to help people who are so desperate they are practically beyond hope. How many people can do that? I couldn't.

How many others are like him? Basically good people who - in my humble opinion- just don't belong on the political scene? Or people who, as politicians, get caught up in issues that really shouldn't even be a matter of national policy? Like LGBT rights and abortion and what is or isn't science...I don't know if it's more an indicator of our broken system or just the nature of politics or what. I tell you, the world is a crazy place.

summer's end

2011-08-15T20:21:00.002-05:00

Summer is ending as fast as it started. We were only gone a week, but still there is a noticeable difference in the hours of daylight here. It's not so bright by 6:00 in the morning, and by a few minutes after 8:00 in the evening, darkness sets in pretty quickly. It doesn't matter how long I live up here in the "frozen north", as my family and extended family often refer to Madison, I will probably never get used to this. I certainly enjoy the weather - pleasantly warm days, cool nights and early mornings - but even now in mid-August, there is something about the daylight hours shortening and diminishing that has me braced for fall a little too soon.

This week I have to register Daniel at his school, and this time it is For Real School That Meets All Day, not just Preschool. He'll be spending most of his time away from home instead of most of his time with us at home. We are essentially ready for this, since too much time together usually results in whining and bickering and bad moods all around. It's still a big transition, though. I have a feeling the biggest adjustment will be for Anya, who has always, always had her big brother around to play with, to tell her what to do, and to help her get into trouble. Anya, for her part, will be in preschool three afternoons per week, where she can find her own identity and make more of her own friends. All this tugs at my heart just a little bit, but I can't imagine it any other way.

"What are you going to do with all your newfound free time?", a friend of mine asked me. She asked this not without irony because we all know that you never have as much free time as you anticipate. She, in fact, is in the exact same situation I am, kid-wise, with her oldest entering kindergarten, and her youngest enrolled in part time preschool, and feeling like for the first time in five or so years there might be time to breathe, or maybe even read a good book. The first answer that comes to my mind when people ask me this question is "Clean my house," but that is a pretty lame answer. Who wants to spend all their spare time cleaning? The second answer that comes to mind is "Maybe try to find some work accompanying," but that gets complicated fast with scheduling in time to practice and commute, and trying to work out how many after-school hours I would need to be available for playing in studio classes and such. It almost doesn't seem worth it.

Well. I can allow myself a little time to figure this out. In the meantime, I need to find both kids some proper school clothes before cooler weather sets in. Also, Anya needs new shoes yesterday because suddenly her little feet have grown bigger and none of her shoes fit anymore.

I remember back-to-school shopping when I was a kid. I loved it. I got to spend several hours at the mall with my mom and I got to pick out a whole pile of new clothes and we'd eat lunch in the food court. I always felt special. (I do not know if my mom remembers it this way; I think there were probably plenty of clothes-shopping trips where my little brother would run off and hide and we'd get tired and whine and it probably wasn't special at all, but that's not how I remember it now!). I remember that I would have a nice little pile of new clothes to wear and I wasn't allowed to wear them before school started, and it was really hard to wait. The first day, or even first week, of school, was pretty exciting.

Forgive me if I'm getting sentimental here. I've spent a lot of time reflecting on my childhood in the last week or two. For one thing, Daniel keeps asking me to tell him stories about when I was a kid. I can never come up with any good ones; maybe I wasn't a very interesting kid. But also, I spent the last week in south central Kansas visiting Stuart's parents and also visiting my extended family who were all in town for my cousin's wedding. One night we threw a party for my brother and his wife to celebrate their wedding, which was in Minnesota in December. Since none of the extended family could attend their actual wedding, we made a bunch of food and met at the family farm where many memories were made. We ate and talked and reminisced and visited a treehouse my cousin John built nearly 25 years ago in a hedge tree at the edge of a pasture. We watched the sheep run across a field. We watched the now-youngest generation of kids run around the yard much as we had done as the sun set.

That farm hasn't changed a whole lot since I was five and running around the yard. There's a new machine shed, I think, an old chicken coop is gone, and something else may have been added or torn down, but the landscape is essentially the same: same house, same rusty swing set, same huge vegetable garden (though I'm afraid the brutal heat and relentless drought scorched the earth and the garden produced very little this year and we won't even talk about the sorghum and soy crops because it's just too painful), same dirt road lined with hedge trees and yes, that old treehouse.

I spent Friday evening at another aunt and uncle's farm. They were hosting the rehearsal dinner for their daughter's wedding (my youngest cousin, who got hitched on Saturday). The groom's extended family were there, all from out of state, many from eastern states like Virginia and West Virginia. They had never been to Kansas before, or any place remotely like it. They were utterly fascinated by the farm, which seemed almost exotic. Much time was spent in the tractor shed admiring the machinery (my aunt and uncle are in possession of a rather large and impressive combine) and taking in the scenic view of fields and sky, the shed, and the windmill. Shortly before the food arrived, a storm rolled in. The Kansas sky is already impressive, but there is something amazing and humbling about watching dark clouds tumble across it. In minutes, the weather turned from warm and clear to blustery and dark and menacing. My aunt D cheerfully assured us that she had cleaned the basement in case we all had to go down to escape a tornado. Then the lights went out and we ate dinner in the dark.

Sometimes I miss Kansas. I didn't grow up there, but I still claim it as home, or one of my homes. It is the place where my ancestors made their home over a century ago. It is the place where many of my extended family (though not all of them) still live. I went to college there, met Stuart there. We even got married there ten years ago. I sometimes think if it weren't for the brutal summers and all the damn Republicans, I could actually live there.

recall

2011-08-09T21:31:00.002-05:00

Today is the big recall election day for six Republican state senators in Wisconsin. I'm in Kansas visiting family this week, but at the moment I am glued to the live feed on The Daily Page watching election results come in. I'm afraid it does not look good for the Democrats at this point in the evening. Of course, it is impossible to know right now what things will look like in the morning. Nothing has been normal in Wisconsin since the beginning of the year. I may be discouraged and cynical now, but it's important to remember that the struggle for people's rights is long and hard-fought. Giving up is not an option.

solidarity singalong

2011-08-05T16:29:00.003-05:00

You don't hear about Wisconsin politics in the news so much anymore. There is certainly a lot to be discouraged about, now that Walker's had his way on so many pieces of legislation (the budget, the union-busting, the voter ID bill). But just because there aren't 100,000 people marching peacefully on the streets and through the Capitol in a snowstorm doesn't mean this is over, or that the citizens of Wisconsin have given up.

In March of this year, right after the mass protests ended with the DOA's lockdown of the Capitol building, someone began daily noontime sing alongs to keep a constant presence there. I've been a few times (and blogged it here back in April). Now, several months later, the Solidarity Sing Alongs are still going strong. I hadn't been in a long time, but JoyMama's post on Elvis Sightings last Wednesday detailing the Attack on the Red Balloon inspired me to go.

To get y'all up to speed, red heart balloons have been an important symbol of protest since the first march on the Capitol on Valentine's Day. One mylar helium balloon was stuck in the Capitol dome for months. When it finally came down on its own, people started bringing balloons to the noon hour Solidarity Sing Alongs and delivering them to legislators with notes as a form of protest. When a woman was delivering a balloon last Tuesday, a man working for the DOA actually attacked the balloon with a knife, stabbing himself in the process and leaving blood all over the floor. He was arrested a couple days later. Really, you should go read JoyMama's post about it; she explains it much better.

I bribed the kids with a trip to the children's museum downtown (which is right across the street from the Capitol, conveniently), then gave them a bag full of snacks to eat while we sang in the Rotunda.

It's amazing and uplifting to participate in the Sing Alongs. I love to sing (in groups), and the feeling of, well, solidarity is really something special. We raise our right fists when we sing the chorus to "Solidarity Forever!"

There are some wonderful signs and banners, too.

Next week, the perseverance of anti-Walker activists are put to the test. August 9 is the date for recall elections for six Republican state senators who stand with Walker and his policies that go against the public good in so many ways. Three Democrats are up for recall as well. If we can keep those three Democrats in the senate, and take over just three of those Republican seats, it will be a huge victory for the people of Wisconsin.

10

2011-08-04T08:17:00.004-05:00

Ten years ago today, Stuart and I got married. That's a whole decade, yo, and whenever I think about it, I get that surreal feeling of how ten years feels like a long time, while at the same time feels like it went really fast. We were living in Madison at the time, but got married in Kansas, where we'd gone to college together, and where many family and friends lived at the time.

This weekend we are leaving to spend a week in Kansas, where my cousin is getting married. I've been complaining to anyone who will listen that it would be nice to go there NOT in the blazing heat of summer, but heck, we got married in Kansas in August, so who am I to judge?

We never got to take a honeymoon because at the time we couldn't afford it, and then by the time we might have gotten around to it and could afford it, we had kids who were -and still are - too young to leave with anyone for more than a day and too young to take along and still enjoy ourselves.

We didn't plan anything big to celebrate, just dinner out. Unfortunately, that just got canceled because Daniel has a fever. I have to admit I'm really disappointed. It's been an incredibly busy summer with the basement remodeling wrapping up and lots of visitors from out of state. And no preschool. I've hardly had time to sit down and read a book, much less have a night off. Oh well. We can always re-schedule for some other night. I've got a fridge full of zucchini I've got to figure out what to do with anyway.

Well anyway, one disappointing day really doesn't matter in the scheme of things. It's been a great ten years with Stuart, and I'm looking forward to the next ten! Maybe one of these days we'll get to take a real vacation by ourselves!

bach and spinach

2011-07-27T22:01:00.003-05:00

I've hit a summer slump. Swimming lessons finished up last week (as did my opportunity to swim laps), the parade of family coming to visit us in July have all gone back home, and it rained today. We needed the rain, actually, though not nearly as badly as it's needed in the parched, baked western states and my beloved Kansas, where it's too hot even for tomatoes to grow. But something about the rumble of thunder and cool morning air made me think of fall and school starting and shorter days, and I'm just not ready for that yet.

There's also the matter of the dark and dirty Wisconsin political scene. There are about a dozen recall elections next month (none of which I will actually vote in because our particular district is as solidly Democratic as they come; my state senator is the country's longest-serving!) The ruthlessness of this state's Republican leadership, and their determination to undercut public education and resources, strip away union rights, and disenfranchise voters with the new Voter ID bill is completely disheartening.

ETA: Reading this gives me hope. Be sure to watch the embedded video as well!

As for family leaving, well, it wasn't so sad because we'll see them all again in a couple of weeks. We're heading down to central Kansas for my cousin's wedding. It's a family-only affair, but I happily agreed to do all the music for it, so I've been practicing. She had one request for the processional, but everything else is up to me. Last month I spent some time looking through my favorite repertoire to find wedding-appropriate music that I can play with relatively little practice time. I picked out a couple things that aren't difficult, but are new to my fingers (Poulenc, Grieg).

And I've re-discovered Bach. From the time I was in 6th or 7th grade until I finished my first graduate degree, I was always playing something by Bach: Two-, then three-part inventions, preludes and fugues from the Well-Tempered Clavier, Toccatas, Suites, and I did the C minor partita on my masters recital. (I still can't believe I memorized that whole thing.) Playing Bach was like eating spinach. It's really good for you, even if it requires some discipline. As it happens, I like spinach just as I like Bach, so it's not exactly a hardship ingesting either one.

Once I started collaborative piano, I only played Bach sporadically. There were occasional vocal arias and a couple big sonatas with violin (which I played on harpsichord), but it wasn't quite the same. For my cousin's wedding, I needed to choose the recessional, and the tune that kept coming to mind was the gigue from Bach's fifth French suite in G major. It's just so joyful. While I'm at it, I'm playing a few other movements for the prelude, just to round things out. It's refreshing to discover that this suite, which I played as a college freshman, you know, in the previous century, is still familiar in my fingers. I remember most of the fingerings, I still feel the excitement of the gigue and the sweetness of the sarabande, and I even remember listening to my recording of Glenn Gould over and over and over again.

monday randomness/update

2011-07-18T21:20:00.009-05:00

I know posting has been rather sparse of late. That's just due to me livin' my life, my friends. I suppose I could do a giant brain dump to catch everybody up on life here, but I suspect there's only so much you'll find interesting. So I'll summarize with one of these random update listy things. With a few pictures.

1. We had a nice long visit with Stuart's parents. They retired in June and are spending the first several weeks of their newfound freedom on the road visiting various family members spread all around the country, starting with Stuart's older brother and his family in North Carolina, then us in Wisconsin, and Stuart's grandpa and uncle in Montana. It's quite a trip; I think my MIL said total miles would be around 5000 by the time they get back home to Kansas.

2. We were lucky the weather held out. Most of the time they were here it was pleasant and sunny, so we spent plenty of time outdoors: at the pool for swimming lessons, at the park to practice bike riding (for Daniel especially, and boy has he caught on!), at a nearby state park for picnic and beach play-

- at Olbrich Botanical gardens for their annual butterly exhibit-

- and outside on the back deck to eat nearly every meal together.

3. This last item - eating on the deck - is because our kitchen is small and just plain too cramped to fit six people in to eat a meal. Sitting around the deck on camping chairs worked well enough, but it got really aggravating to be constantly running out of room and bumping into people in the kitchen. Building an addition to extend the kitchen and add adequate dining space for growing kids and lots of out-of-town visitors is in the long-term plans for this house, but after a week and a half tripping over each other just getting to the back door with a plate of sandwiches, the remodeling couldn't happen soon enough. Not that we can pay for it yet, of course, but the wheels are turning. I swear, the only time I have house envy is when I walk through someone else's dining room and find myself saying, "Wow! There's room in here for everyone to sit down!"

4. After nine days of a full house, as of this morning it's down to me and the kids. Stuart's parents left for the next leg of their trip, and Stuart himself is traveling for work until Wednesday night. Right now it's kind of nice having the quiet evening to myself, but there's been a lot of clean-up to do before the next round of visitors. My parents and my mom's sister are arriving Wednesday night for a few days' visit. To them I promise clean sheets and towels, but not necessarily freshly vacuumed rugs or pristine toilets (thank goodness I can refer to "toilets" in plural now). I was hoping to get more done today, but it turns out that after nine days of undivided attention from no less than four adults, they become rather needy and demanding when it's suddenly down to just mom.

5. They're also crabby from the heat. We're at the beginning of a 5-day heat wave. It's all anyone can talk about here. The NWS has issued excessive heat warnings Sunday through Thursday, with temps in the mid-90s and extremely high humidity. It's miserable. Five minutes outside hanging beach towels on the line had me drenched in sweat. I'm quite grateful now for central air conditioning (which we rarely use, but it's necessary in weather like this) and local aquatic facilities. We've been to the pool so much lately, I thought a change of scene would be nice, so right before dinner I took the kids to a nearby splash park:

They had a blast and played happily for at least an hour before it was time to visit the port-a-johns (really? you can't hold it? le sigh...) and go home for a late dinner. I couldn't help but notice that there was far, far more ethnic diversity at the public splash park than at the private pool we joined for the summer. I'm not sure what else to say about that, just an observation. In any case, we got home and put together homemade tomato soup with everyone participating in the process (Anya is scooping cooked tomatoes into the food mill, which Daniel is churning into the soup pot):

I think that's really enough for now. In the middle of all this activity, we took Daniel to the doctor and learned that his ear problems will probably not go away without surgery, and he was put on antibiotics for yet another ear infection (this makes #6 since February), but I think that is another post for another day.

TTFN (ta-ta for now)!

bunnies, bunnies, BUNNIES!!!

2011-07-14T17:11:00.001-05:00

You'll never believe what I found in my garden this morning. Anya and I were out at the community plot to see what's there to harvest (the first of our tiny tomatoes, and a handful more snowpeas!). Before leaving, we filled up some milk jugs and a watering can to water the vegetables. As I was sprinkling a rather sad little row of beets, I noticed that some of the straw mulch I'd spread around the middle of the plot was moving. Hmm, I thought, some little rodent is running through, and I sprinkled some water over the moving straw to chase out whatever was in there. Nothing ran out, but the straw kept heaving gently in that one spot. I poked a bit of the straw aside and saw a little pile of fur. I pushed away more of the straw and found an entire nest of baby bunnies. There were at least half a dozen of them, each about the size of my fist, curled up in a tight little bunch.

I had to step back, collect myself, and think for a minute. Something about wiggly little animals quite literally right underfoot is repulsive to me. (Thank goodness I didn't accidentally step on the nest. Ew.) But you know, baby bunnies, as prolific and damaging as they can be to a vegetable garden, are pretty darn cute, and I couldn't bring myself to kill them, especially not with Anya there. These baby bunnies were just quavering there in their nest (mama bunny was out and about), too young to know to run away. So I went and fetched a bucket and shovel from the garden shed, figuring I would carefully scoop them up and let them loose in the pine trees next to the garden plot.

This worked, sort of. Two of the little bunnies ran off before I could scoop them up. I tipped the bucket over with the remaining bunnies near the pines, and as I approached the plot I could hear frantic squeaking and squawking. One of the baby bunnies had tried running through the chicken wire fence and its head was stuck. This is when I started to freak out a bit. I knew if I left the bunny there it would strangle in the chicken wire and then I'd have a more gruesome situation on my hands. Not to mention a new attraction for hungry crows. "What do I do??" I asked the woman who gardens next to us and was there watering her tomatoes. She replied, "You just have to pull it out of the fence, I guess." And so I did, silently ruing the fact that I'd forgotten to bring my garden gloves along for this garden trip.

Taking care of that bunny was easy enough. It ran off into the trees as soon as I pulled it out of the fence. But the other bunny had gotten caught the same way right in the middle of the garden plot, in the chicken wire that separates our half from the half belonging to the woman who was witnessing this whole situation. The bunny was frantically struggling and squawking, so like with the other one, I pulled it out with my bare hands, only this time, I wasn't so near the edge of the garden, and I didn't want to hold it any longer than I had to. In a split second, I had to decide what to do, and in my panic, I tossed him. I lobbed this poor little bunny about 20 feet right out of my garden and out into the grass. My garden neighbor gasped and I did, too. What kind of a person am I, throwing baby bunnies around?

Around this time, mama bunny showed up, probably having heard the distress calls from the bunnies who had needed assistance in the chicken wire. "Your babies are over THERE," I called to her, pointing towards the pine trees where I'd released/tossed her young.

The whole experience was a little unnerving, let me tell you. Anya watched with interest, but didn't seem upset by any of it. We certainly had a story to tell everyone when we got home! I am no animal rights activist, especially when it comes to an overpopulation of rabbits that can decimate an entire crop of beans in a single evening, but I do wonder what became of those baby bunnies. Did their mama find them and build them a new nest? Are they back in my garden? Did the crows get them? I know this, at least: I'll be checking under the straw a little more often from now on.

earaches

2011-07-05T20:56:00.005-05:00

This morning on the way home from running a few errands, Daniel said suddenly, "My ear hurts." Oh, what a frequent refrain this phrase has become: Mom, my ear hurts! He had one or two ear infections in the baby and toddler years, but this year for some reason they have been coming one on top of another. Today's diagnosis is his fifth since February, though the last one went away without antibiotics. We have an evaluation with his pediatrician next week, an appointment that was scheduled long ago, and one I was hoping would be the kind where the doc would look in his ears and pronounce them free and clear. I'm afraid, though, that this is just one too many and we'll have to schedule a procedure for Daniel to get tubes in his ears.

This upsets me. It's frustrating to see your kid get sick every three weeks. I know that getting the tubes is a simple, low-risk procedure and I should be more grateful that this particular problem is easy to fix. I'm still anxious, though, because I'm his mom and that's just how it goes when your own kid is suffering.

Today we couldn't get into urgent care until the late afternoon, and considering my kids were already cranky and sleep-deprived from staying up late to watch the fireworks last night (on top of Daniel not feeling well), it's a wonder we got out of there without more glaring from the other patients in the waiting room. Anya, not to be left out, whined that her ear hurt too, and when was it going to be her turn to sit on the table so the P.A. could look in her ear? (The P.A. was extremely kind and accommodating and looked in her ears, which were, of course, just fine.)

It's turning out to be a stressful week. Since the carpet was installed last Friday, we have been moving stuff downstairs and re-shuffling rooms, and while there is definite progress, everything is still really messy. We have 3 days to get everything ready before Stuart's parents arrive, and with a sick kid on top of it all, I'm not quite sure how it's all going to get done.

it's done!!!

2011-07-01T13:19:00.004-05:00

These pictures are lousy, but our basement is finally and totally done! The carpet went in this morning, so now everything smells a little like carpet glue. The kids have already enjoyed a good romp and game of tag on the lush, soft floor, and soon we'll start to move our stuff downstairs. I want to enjoy just a few hours of clean, empty space first.

Tag on the new carpet:

Nice big window:

Built-in cupboards for toys and some crafty stuff:

Built-in shelves at the half-wall:

Now we have a week to get all our stuff in order before Stuart's parents come for a nice, long visit. They just retired and are taking a giant road trip across the country to see family. This summer is really flying by.

mud bath

2011-06-28T20:20:00.002-05:00

This is what summer is for!

tiny and delicious

2011-06-25T13:49:00.002-05:00

A glimpse of this season's strawberry crop (We've picked almost 30 lbs so far this year, most of which are now frozen whole or in jam form!):

These little treasures are from our garden plot:

I was thinning carrots and found that many I pulled out, though tiny, are still edible. The kids enjoyed them!

Someone explain to me why kids who are incredibly picky with vegetables will eat ANYTHING raw out of the garden?

robin hood, where are you?

2011-06-16T20:17:00.004-05:00

This makes me so angry. Gov. Scott Walker's budget, which yanks the rug out from under working people and public services, is about to become law. The budget is a moral document. Or rather, this budget is an immoral document. I'm not surprised we have come to this point, but I am incredibly discouraged. My oldest child is entering kindergarten this fall. With $1 billion cut from public schools, what lies ahead for him? And for his sister, who will follow just a couple years later? With $1 million cut from Planned Parenthood, what will happen to thousands of women across the state who depend on Planned Parenthood for reproductive health services and cancer screenings? What will happen to the families who depend on BadgerCare and Medicaid for essential health care and, in the case of several families I am acquainted with, autism therapy? With weakened environmental regulations, what will happen to our forests and lakes and wild spaces? Without unions to stand up for public workers, who will?

I am angry, I am discouraged, I am outraged, but like I've said before, I am not giving up hope. A friend recently reminded me of a quote by the late historian Howard Zinn, whose book A People's History of the United States I've been reading since the start of anti-Walker protests this winter: Note that throughout history people have felt powerless before authority, but that at certain times these powerless people, by organizing, acting, risking, persisting, have created enough power to change the world around them, even if a little.

It is simply unacceptable to take away from the poor and the middle class to increase corporate wealth. Call it balancing the budget, call it "flexibility in local governments", call it a business-friendly climate, call it what you want. I call it robbing from the poor to give to the rich. We need a Robin Hood.

hide and seek at the arboretum

2011-06-12T20:18:00.005-05:00

Thanks for the suggestions, everyone, about how to stave off boredom this summer. I guess I've been resistant to over-scheduling up to this point because I know the time is coming (probably sooner than I'd like) that we'll have so many extracurricular activities to juggle I'll look back on these days and long for the relative freedom and, yes, boredom, of early childhood. But maybe you guys are right. Maybe I need to plan more activities, knowing we can always back out if it seems like too much. This next week is taken care of, actually, because swimming lessons start in the morning and a group of us parents from the preschool have put together an informal day camp every afternoon. (I'm in charge Tuesday and Thursday with a friend of mine, and I'm glad to say that she, at least, knows what she's doing!) After this week, though, I'll be sure to schedule lots of play dates and find new outdoor places to explore.

It's been an odd week weather-wise. We started off with record high temperatures well into the 90s, and then it got wet and downright chilly (we didn't even crack 60 on Thursday) with a fairly major storm system in between. In fact, we thought we'd be spending Wednesday night in our not-quite-finished basement, but after setting up "camp," the warnings were over and we went back upstairs. All this culminated into a Sunday with absolutely perfect weather, so perfect that Stuart came up with the idea, rather spur-of-the-moment, to have a picnic and go hiking in the UW Arboretum.

It was a brilliant idea. We picked up some take-out for lunch and headed out, ignoring the "No picnics" sign (we didn't know...next time we'll follow the rules and picnic somewhere else...) One of the wonderful things about the Arboretum - and there are many - is the giant gardens in the middle: basically several acres of meadow with hundreds of varieties of trees planted in the well-kept lawn. After eating our lunch, the kids wanted to play hide and seek amongst the evergreens. They found many fun places to hide, but there is so much open space out there we weren't really afraid of losing them. This game lasted nearly an hour.

See the beautiful cascading branches in that picture? This tree was their favorite place to hide, and if you could see it, you'd know why. Duck under those branches, and you'd be in what feels like a whole room, right by that tree, dark and quiet and secret.

We never made it to the woods for a hike, in part because hide-and-seek lasted so long it wore every one out, but mostly because we needed to go down the road a bit to the visitors' center for a potty break. In any case, our little outing turned out to be fun and even a little special for everyone. Sometimes those spontaneous trips end up being the best kind.

boredom

2011-06-09T19:48:00.006-05:00

Everyone knows that parenting is hard. It's practically a cliché to say so, but it's true, so people say it anyway. There are the difficulties I anticipated, like sleep deprivation and temper tantrums and the long road to potty training. There are the difficulties I didn't anticipate, like having kids who never really took naps ever (at least, not reliably for more than a week at a time) and extreme pickiness with food. But as far as kids go, I have to say I've gotten pretty lucky.

Lately, we've hit a new stumbling block: summer boredom. School is out for the summer, which means preschool is done, too. (Anya, by the way, loved every minute of preschool; I had nothing to worry about!) Daniel is done with preschool for good now, and until he starts kindergarten this fall, we have our last free, innocent summer ahead of us. I was looking forward to it. I like summers that are relatively unscheduled. I like swimming and gardening and going to state parks and watching the hot air balloon launch at the park and picking berries and finding fun new ways to explode water balloons and visits from grandparents, and we're planning on all of that stuff this year.

The problem is that Daniel is bored already. I think a couple of different factors are at work here. First of all, he's really ready for kindergarten. He turned 5 this winter, and if it weren't for the extra cost, I would have sent him to preschool every day this semester instead of just part of the week. Second, I think he is essentially an extrovert (if a cautious one) and benefits from having lots of social stimulation. This means that when he is with me all day long we run into trouble. Playing with toys, playing with Anya, playing with me only hold his interest for so long before he starts moping and whining about having nothing to do. Then he begs to watch TV and when I say no, finds ways to annoy me. He turns the radio on and off, he sets the timer on the microwave, he'll choose random CDs and start playing them, skipping through all the tracks after a few seconds (this drives me nuts).

This, by the way, happens whether we're home all day or spent the whole morning somewhere fun, like preschool, say, or the children's museum or the zoo or the pool (it's been a hot week; we've been at the pool plenty). It's not like I never take them anywhere fun.

Anya does not have this problem. She is really quite good at keeping herself entertained and is not socially needy at all. Whether this is a personality trait or simply because she is younger, I don't know.

It's not as though we never have playtime with friends, but I guess we need more of it. It might be time to look into some type of organized/team sport for Daniel, too (other than swimming lessons, I mean). I have never looked forward to that phase of parenthood where my main job is schlepping kids around to playdates and sports practice, but that might be what he needs.

who needs toys?

2011-06-06T20:26:00.007-05:00

Who needs toys when there are boxes to play with?

the joy of gardening

2011-06-04T12:33:00.006-05:00

I've really been bitten by the gardening bug this year, and so far, I've been pretty attentive to my plants, with regular watering and weeding. The community garden plot is coming along nicely; it makes a big difference living close enough to run out there and water nearly every day. And I mean "run" literally! It's right off my running route!

At home, I've been thinking that in the front yard I'd like more garden, less lawn. I've added a few perennials as I do every year, trying to choose flowers that are butterfly and hummingbird-friendly. We have seen hummingbirds here a few times and it's pretty neat.

What I'm most enthusiastic about, though, is growing more edible plants: vegetables and herbs. Last week I chopped a 3'x3' section out of the grass and worked in some peat moss and compost to make a bed for sunflowers and basil.

(So help me, I'm posting pictures of plants on my blog now! It's probably like watching paint dry, huh?)

That patch is just the exotic basils, by the way: lemon basil, lime basil, cinnamon basil (I didn't know there was such a thing before!), thai basil, purple basil, and spicy basil. I've got a few dozen sweet basil plants - the kind most often used in pesto - not far away. I don't think it's possible to have too much basil.

The other new garden spot is a raised bed with tomatoes, peppers and parsley:

They'll be packed in there, but my Square Foot Gardening book assures me that this is okay. If this bed is successful I may add one or two more next year.

It is so very satisfying to be in the dirt, helping things grow. Forgive me if I start sounding like a fruitcake here, but I really do believe the world would be a kinder, more peaceful place if people had more opportunities to connect with the earth. I think everyone should get out in nature more to appreciate the beauty and wonder and value of the natural world. Maybe if more people did that we wouldn't be so hell bent on ripping it all apart. By the same token, if more people took part in growing some of their own food, perhaps we'd appreciate more the work that goes into it and the importance of healthy, balanced soil.

I am glad to have two little gardening assistants. This year both kids have been quite enthusiastic about helping out. I suspect their enthusiasm will wane with the hot weather coming our way, though I've discovered a good antidote is to get them in swimsuits and let them play in the sprinkler.

Below is a series of pictures of Anya getting water from the rain barrel* the day we planted all that basil. She must have made a dozen trips back and forth:

I know we'll never grow all our own food. That takes more time, land and ability for long-term planning than we've got. With so many local food resources available, you might wonder why we don't give up on the garden and just get everything from CSA farms and the weekly markets. I sometimes wonder that myself. After all, by the time you buy the tools and plants and dirt and mulch and fencing and whatnot, gardening doesn't save you much money. I guess I keep at it because I want to be more self-sufficient. I want to take an active role in producing what we eat. And, perhaps most importantly, I want my children to learn these lessons, too.

*ETA: Since Animal asked about the rain barrel, I thought I'd just write a bit more about it...we bought ours from the city of Madison, which has a big composter/rain barrel sale every year the first Saturday in May. Hundreds of people line up in this giant parking lot to buy them at a pretty good discount. Stuart installed the rain barrel, and it was pretty easy. He just had to cut the drain spout short and add an elbow joint to pour into the barrel, which I think you can see in the picture. You also have to make sure there is a fairly level surface to set the barrel on. When it's full it's supposed to drain out this tube out the side, but it really just kind of spills over the top. There's a screen on top to keep debris from collecting inside. You get water out by turning a spigot on at the bottom, so if the rain barrel is a couple inches above the ground (like on a brick slab, for example), it's easier to fit a bucket underneath the spout. We like it very much.

wordless wednesday: snacking outside

2011-06-01T21:26:00.000-05:00

joplin

2011-05-25T11:38:00.004-05:00

By now you've surely heard about the destruction wreaked upon Joplin, Missouri by a tornado on Sunday evening. I first learned about it later that night when I checked my email. My mom has a cousin who lives in Joplin with her husband, and someone on the extended family email list sent a quick message to report that C and husband T escaped the storm, but were without power. Since then, C herself has sent a few more emails with details about their experience and the state of their town. I don't have her permission to just copy and paste what she's written, so I'll just paraphrase and summarize here.

It just sounds so awful. Electricity is limited, and a lot of cell phone towers went down in the storm, so communication is extremely difficult. 1500 people are unaccounted for, but workers think most of them were out of town, or managed to leave town after the storm, and just haven't had a way to report in. They still expect to find people trapped in basements as they clean up. No one but trained rescue and emergency workers are allowed into the damaged areas. Hotels are booked for 50 miles, and there isn't a rental car available "from Tulsa to Kansas City." People who have lived in Joplin all their lives can't find their way around because the destruction s so massive, and street signs are no longer standing. C has been organizing temporary housing, shelter and laundry facilities in their development. Some houses are so crowded with extra people and pets that people are spending most of their time outside. She watched a child sitting in the middle of the road practicing his viola.

It's been an extraordinary few months for natural disasters, hasn't it? Earthquake in Japan, record storms in the Midwest and South, the Mississippi floodwaters...It's like a slow apocalypse. The world didn't end all at once last Saturday like that old guy predicted; instead, it's happening one disaster at a time. If global warming is to blame for the storms (not the earthquakes, obviously), well, what more of a wake up call do we need?

I've read and heard in various news accounts of people comparing the destruction in Joplin to the destruction caused by bombs. One guy said it looked like Dresden, another guy mentioned Hiroshima. Now, I know these people are in the middle of a traumatic experience, and I don't doubt that Joplin does look like a war zone, so I don't want to come down too hard on them. But seriously, Hiroshima? Dresden? 100,000 people were completely annihilated when the atomic bomb was dropped. Dresden was carpet-bombed and untold thousands died. It's not a fair comparison. I don't know about these guys on the news, but the irony was not lost on me that they compared their town to cities bombed by Americans more than 60 years ago.

In any case, it seems to me that we should stop dropping bombs on people all together. Nature seems to be doing plenty of damage on her own.

pests and varmints

2011-05-23T20:50:00.003-05:00

Yesterday afternoon a small rodent found itself trapped in one of the window wells. The wells are a good three feet deep, and the wood lining them is not completely vertical, but arranged in really narrow steps, so that should a person find it necessary to escape from the basement (in case of fire, for example), one could crank open the window, jump out into the well, then scramble up the side to safety - but only after carefully removing the screen, of course.

So anyway, this little creature found its way down there but couldn't get out, presumably because the bottom step was too high for it to scramble out. I think this little thing was a vole. It had practically no tail and a pretty big sniffer, plus it looked blind. It was just scrambling around the gravel, trying to escape the sun, which was beating down on it, and it looked frantic. Actually, the way these animals move, they always look frantic to me.

The kids spotted the vole and were fascinated. Fortunately, their curiosity stopped short of climbing down in there and trying to catch it, but they watched its every move, and probably terrified it even more with their squeals of interest. I, for one, was about equally interested and repulsed. I hate hate HATE little rodents. The way they twitch and skitter around just gives me the creeps. I also, however, have no desire to fish out dead rodents who were stupid enough to get trapped in the window well in the first place. So we decided we had to help the little guy get out of there.

Fortunately, I knew this moment was coming. A family we know in town had a nice big egress window installed in their basement by the same builder we've hired. Before our project began last fall, we went over to take a look at theirs, and we saw a narrow strip of screen had been tacked to the wooden lining of their window well. L and J explained that after removing a dozen or so dead shrews (shudder) who had gotten trapped in there and died, they installed that strip of screen for the little rascals to climb out. I did the same, only with a bit of chicken wire leftover from our garden fence.

The little vole was so traumatized, probably by my presence and all the hammering, it hid in the corner under a rock. At this point, I almost - almost - felt a little sorry for it. I was also a little nervous that it had exhausted itself so thoroughly already that it would just die right there. It didn't help that Daniel and Anya were both yelling "Come out, little vole! Come out and climb your ladder!!" We decided to lure it with a little piece of bread smeared with peanut butter placed at the very bottom of the chicken wire. Eventually, this worked, but it did take a little while for the vole to find the bait. Daniel thought maybe we should give it a little cup of water, too, but I told him that might encourage the vole to just make our window well its new home, and that would not be acceptable. Not at all.

After a little while, the vole finally made its way out of the window well, to the enthusiastic cheers of Daniel and Anya. I'm not sure where it went after that. Maybe down into the other window well? If it did, I've got some chicken wire nailed there just in case. I just hope it's not expecting a little snack on the way out.

painting lessons

2011-05-22T20:07:00.006-05:00

It has been a busy weekend chez Madtown Mama! First and foremost, our priority has been to get the basement painted. Our drywall guy painted the ceilings for us, which was a godsend. I don't know how I could stand painting ceilings on top of everything else. He has a sprayer, so he got done with that part in just a couple of hours. The rest was up to us, though, including the walls and stairwell. I spent some of my precious kids-in-preschool time getting a coat of primer in the bathroom and around the windows last week, but Stuart and I put in a couple of late nights, too. Stuart spent most of Saturday working down there, first taping the ceilings, then painting and painting and more painting. I couldn't help out on Saturday because I had a performance in the afternoon and didn't want to wear out my forearms (plus someone had to watch the kids!) Also, I thought it might be bad form to show up for a performance covered in paint spatter.

I took charge of the bathroom, though. That had to get done first because someone's coming first thing Monday morning to work on the floor. Primer went on Thursday night, first coat of paint Friday night, and this morning Daniel and I put on the second coat. Daniel was begging to help, and finally relented. As it turns out, this kid is pretty good with the roller! So is Stuart, actually. See how our kids are gazing at him in quiet awe? Or maybe it's just fascination with the painting equipment.

Anyway, he does good work, and he's fast. Also, he did all the work in the stairwell, for which I am forever grateful because heights of any kind give me the heebie-jeebies.

Here's the bathroom. I'm not sure if you can tell from the picture, but it's blue. I'm very happy with it.

I'm also quite happy with the color I chose for the rest of the basement walls. According to Sherwin Williams, this is "bungalow beige," and it's a tan/taupe color. A while ago I met with a friend of mine for suggestions for more interesting wall colors, but in the end I decided something light and neutral was the best option. I can always go nuts with accent pillow or something, right? The picture below is actually from yesterday; you can see how the corners and edges weren't done yet, but I think it still gives you an idea of what the room looks like.

Now, Stuart and I have done plenty of painting in our house before, plus Stuart spent a whole summer on a painting crew in college, so we came to this project with a decent amount of experience. Still, we learned a couple things:

1. It's definitely worth getting really good-quality paint. Previously, we'd always just used the house brand paint from Ace Hardware, which was fine and all, and I really like their color swatches because they'll put groups of colors together for you in pleasant combinations. But this time, our contractor hooked us up with a pro who let us use his account at Sherwin Williams. This is normally very expensive paint, but we got what I think is wholesale pricing, so it was actually a little cheaper than the stuff from Ace Hardware, but even if it hadn't been, it would have been worth it. The paint is smooth and has great coverage, and - best of all- it doesn't smell nearly as strong! When you've got hundreds of square feet of wall to cover, this really makes a difference (especially when the windows are sealed shut with plastic from the drywall work.)

2. Don't fall for the gimmicky tools! We really should have known better on this, but sometimes you have to learn the hard way. Even when you're over 30. Stuart made a shopping trip for painting supplies a few weeks ago and came home with a couple fancy rollers, one designed to be spatter-free, and another small one with a guard on one side for ceiling and trim work. These rollers were both a complete and total bust. The spatter-free had a shield contraption that made the roller itself get stuck, so Stuart had to stick his hands in there to free it. When I tried using the trim roller, the guard scraped the wall and blocked the roller from painting until I had so much paint on it that it dripped and glopped everywhere. FAIL. So we taped the ceilings and used regular rollers and brushes, and everything went smoothly from then on.

2 reasons to join a community garden

2011-05-17T20:49:00.002-05:00

1.

2.

Seriously, a big reason I pursued getting a community garden plot closer to home this year was for my kids. (We had one last year, but it was kind of a trek to get there, so it didn't work out so well, especially when we hit the hot, dry part of the summer when tomatoes fail and weeds take over.) They - and I - can learn so much from this experience. We learn how important it is to take care of your plants nearly every day by watering them and pulling out the weeds. Right now with more hours of daylight, it's exciting to see how fast those little plants grow; the green patch Daniel is looking at in that first picture is some arugula that was barely sprouting at the beginning of last week.

In fact, Daniel is more enthusiastic about this whole garden business than I could have imagined. I know, it looks like Anya is more gung-ho from the picture, but after posing for a picture and a couple trips with the watering can, she lost interest. Not that I blame her, you understand. She's only three years old, and that watering can is heavy even when half-full. Daniel, though, could barely contain his excitement when he saw how our plants were growing. He can fill the watering can himself from the water barrels by our garden plots, and he is very good about making sure that water goes where it needs to. (With Anya, it's a little more hit-and-miss, but that's okay.) He also loves meeting our gardening neighbors and chattered practically non-stop to the woman in the plot next to ours this afternoon. She didn't seem to mind, fortunately.

preschool

2011-05-15T19:16:00.003-05:00

I just heard Daniel say: "You know, Anya, at school you have to do just what the teachers say. It's not like at home."

This comment prompted me to get my second glass of wine for the evening and have a good sit-down. You see, tomorrow morning Anya starts preschool. She and Daniel will be going together three times per week for the next month or so before the summer break. I signed them both up for lunch bunch, which means that the days they have preschool, I have an almost 4-hour block of time sans children.

Now, as it turns out, I signed up as a parent-member (the preschool is a parent coop), which means I have to volunteer a few times over the next four weeks. When you count a day off for Memorial Day in the middle of that plus all the days I'm obligated to be there, it really doesn't add up to that much free time for me. Still, it's more than I've ever had before.

I'm not really sure what to do with all this free time. Read a book? Knit a sweater? Deep clean the house? Tidy up the garden? Practice? (I do need to practice, actually.) Probably all of the above with a fair amount of pacing and hand-wringing thrown in. Anya, while excited about starting preschool, is still pretty clingy with me (I could count on one hand the number of times I've slept the whole night in my own bed without going to her in the middle of the night), and she is rather bashful in new situations, and so I worry. I worry that the 4-hour chunk of time will be too much for her. I worry that she'll get homesick and exhausted and overwhelmed. Rationally, I know that this is ridiculous and that she'll adjust soon enough, if not immediately; she does know the teachers and most of the kids already, after all, from Daniel's time there over the last year or so. She is nearly three and a half and she needs this experience.

So maybe I'm the problem. Suddenly I'm faced with a few hours of time to myself during the week and I'm at a loss.

I didn't expect this to be so hard for me. My babies aren't babies anymore! I've longed for this moment; for the past three years all I've wanted was some time to myself and now that I have it I don't know what to do. I think for tomorrow I'll set an agenda so I don't end up frittering the whole time away on the computer, reading meaningless celebrity gossip online and berating myself for not scrubbing the bathroom floor.

And this is what it comes down to. I'm 32 years old. I graduated at the top of my high school class, went to college, went on to receive numerous graduate degrees, had babies, became a housewife and now that my children are just beginning (just beginning, mind you) to grow up and gain some social independence, I am on the verge of falling apart. Crazy, huh? Can you imagine what it will be like when Daniel starts kindergarten this fall? Yeah, I better get a plan.

it ain't over yet

2011-05-14T16:17:00.005-05:00

The weather has turned chilly, windy and wet. Shitty weather on a Saturday in Wisconsin, what a perfect time for a protest!

You see, it's not over yet. The recount in the Prosser vs. Kloppenburg race for Wisconsin Supreme Court is ongoing (though I'm afraid it doesn't look too good for Kloppenburg at this point). Governor Scott Walker hasn't backed down from his union-busting policies, and the last few weeks he's introduced so many policies that gut programs for the poor and middle class and vulnerable citizens, not to mention the environment and public education, it's hard to keep up with it all.

I think Walker was expecting this to just blow over.

I think he was expecting us to get tired of protesting his terrible policies and just go home.

He needs to think again. I heard one speaker at today's rally say the crowd was 20,000. Granted, that's small by standards of the protests a few months ago (when temperatures were well below freezing), but it's still 20,000 people. Several Republican senators (I think the count is up to 8) are up for recall July 12 of this year, and way more than enough people have pledged to sign a petition for a recall election in 2012 as soon as Scott Walker has been in office long enough to be kicked out.

We were there, with our children and our signs.

No, this ain't over. Not by a long shot. We have had enough.

stupid blogger

2011-05-13T11:35:00.003-05:00

Blogger ate my last post! And there were some interesting comments, too. According to their status page, posts were only supposed to be removed temporarily, but clearly they have not resolved this. I'll try and write up another gardening post soon.

In the meantime, let's all wish my little brother congratulations! This weekend he graduates from Virginia Tech with his PhD in Electrical Engineering. Smartypants. Hip, hip hooray for Doctor Joe!!

ETA: It seems my previous post is back up, though without the comments. I still plan to do a follow-up at some point.

lessons in gardening

2011-05-11T21:08:00.000-05:00

I've got dirt in my fingernails and compost on my mind. My moments of daydreaming are filled with plans for vegetable beds, herb patches, and the wooded area of the back yard. In short, gardening is my new passion. Well, not exactly new. It's been simmering for a long time now. But this year, I'm starting to feel like I just might be getting the hang of it. Of course, it's still pretty early in the season, so the weeds haven't caught up to everything else just yet (though with the warm weather and rain we're getting, it won't be long, so I shouldn't get ahead of myself).

So how am I going to do better than last year? Well...let's make a list:

1. Don't assume the compost will take care of itself. This mistake of years past ended up in wet, stinky slime that had the neighbors referring to our "diaper pail compost." Fortunately, we are on very good terms with these neighbors, though I suspect another year of having our property reek of shit-smelling compost would have jeopardized that relationship. We got rid of the composter (we actually gave it to said neighbors, andtheir compost doesn't stink at all; someone explain to me how the same contraption works for them and not for us???) and just put up a fence to dump our vegetable scraps and leaves in. I think having the compost in the open air is working better, plus we've been turning it a few times a week to make sure enough air gets in there.

2. Wait, wait, wait to plant tomatoes, peppers and basil. In years past, I've been so eager to get these warm-weather-loving plants in the ground I put them in too early, and every year they get cold and suffer. Not this time. I vow this year not to put a pepper, tomato or a basil plant in the ground before the first of June.

3. Get a community garden plot close to home. Done and done. Last year we had one close to Stuart's workplace, which would have been fine if Stuart were the one who likes doing garden work. He doesn't mind being put to work to weed or water or what-have-you, but when it comes down to it, I'm the one with the time and emotional commitment to gardening, so it makes more sense to have a community garden plot that is more accessible for me. We got lucky this year and got a plot that's less than a mile from our house. I can walk there in 15 minutes, bike there in less than 10 minutes with the kids in the trailer, or drive there in 3-5 minutes, depending on the one stoplight we go through on the way there.

4. Take advice from people with experience. Last night I stopped by the community garden plot to water. I ended up chatting with a couple of fellow gardeners at least a generation older than I am - friendly, interesting, dynamic people - who have been gardening successfully for decades. They are not only knowledgeable, they are willing to share that knowledge with less-experienced, less-successful gardeners like me! They are the reason I know (now) not to plant tomatoes too early (see #2). Also, I learned a few interesting things about traditional gardening techniques in Sudan, but that's another topic...

5. Don't be afraid to rip out or transplant what you don't like. Several years ago I planted some thyme. It smelled lovely and bloomed so prettily at the end of the summer. But oh, how it spread and sprawled across that particular corner of my herb/perennial garden. It also dried up and got really ugly after the first couple seasons. A week ago, I decided to pull it up and move some irises over there instead, and I haven't regretted it one bit. I've also got native columbine coming up all over the place, the result of a flower I planted on purpose a couple years ago that re-seeded like mad. Columbine is a charming flower, but it comes up in inconvenient places. I've been digging up and re-planting every one in the wild, wooded area of my backyard.

That's it for now. I should do a whole post sometime on community gardening and how I think it could save the world, but that's for another day.

my offspring

2011-05-08T15:43:00.001-05:00

what i want for mothers' day

2011-05-07T20:18:00.004-05:00

I was talking with someone this afternoon about Mothers' Day. She has three kids - twin boys on the verge of getting their drivers' licenses and a daughter in middle school. She said all she wants is to go on a picnic for Mothers' Day with them and her husband because anymore they're so busy it's rare that the whole family is together to do anything. She asked me what I am planning to do for Mothers' Day and I said I don't know, but I hope I don't have to wash any dishes.

I guess you want to spend Mothers' Day with your children when they're old enough to be avoiding you most of the time. I'm still at the point where I want Mothers' Day to be a break from my kids. I want a few hours off-duty. Funny, isn't it, how that works?

I don't expect anything extra-special tomorrow, and that's okay, really. I think elaborate Mothers' Day gifts are kind of silly. I did buy myself some flowers at the farmers' market this morning, though. I was dropping some pretty strong and not-at-all-subtle hints as we passed the bouquets of daffodils and tulips, and Stuart said, "Well, I'd be happy to pick something out for you, but I'm out of cash, so I'd have to ask you for the money to pay for it." We had a good laugh over that.

What I really want for Mothers' Day is a whole day to do what I want, whatever that is. The weather forecast couldn't be better (finally), so I want to have a picnic and plant some flowers and onions (because someone gave me a handful of onion starters this afternoon, which was very generous) and herbs. Stuart put together a frame for a raised garden bed this afternoon, and I want to fill it with dirt and decide what to plant there (we're thinking tomatoes). I want to have some time to myself to read or knit or whatever and not feel guilty about spending that time reading or knitting instead of folding laundry. I want to go for a nice long run, something I haven't done in a while.

And I don't want to wash any dishes.

osama bin laden

2011-05-05T19:24:00.003-05:00

Here is what I remember about 9/11. Stuart and I were in our apartment, getting ready for our respective days as graduate students at the university. We had NPR's Morning Edition on. Just after 8:00 (central time), the host reported that a plane had run into the World Trade Center. I was walking into the bedroom brushing my hair, wet from the shower. "Terrorists?" I said. "No, couldn't be," he replied, "A bomb would be much easier, right?"

It was a beautiful day. I biked to campus, walked into the music office to make some copies for my piano class. Everyone was crowded around a small television, watching footage of the Pentagon. One woman was crying. I made my copies, tried to teach my class. I talked to my office-mate, who thought that at least there couldn't have been too many people in the Twin Towers, so hopefully there hadn't been too many casualties. I had a couple piano lessons scheduled with college students (part of my TA position), but all we did was talk.

I went home and called my dad. I don't remember what we said, but we talked about the terrorist attacks.

Stuart and I had been married just over a month, and we'd gotten two or three of the same blender as wedding gifts. I'd been planning to take one back to Bed Bath and Beyond on my way to a studio where I taught private piano lessons on Tuesday afternoons. By the mid-afternoon, I was, like everyone else, numb with the news from the morning, but I didn't know what else to do, so I drove out to BB&B with that blender. It felt so absolutely pointless and trivial, but I did it anyway. The store was closed and dark, and as I drove away, I felt ridiculous and sad. My piano students all showed up, young children who basically had no idea what was happening. I remember one conversation with a 9yo, normally not an easy kid to teach or talk to, who turned to me and said "Why would anyone DO such a terrible thing?". I had no idea what to say to him. I don't even remember his name now, but that kid is probably in college now.

I didn't know anyone who was on one of those planes, or in the Twin Towers or the Pentagon. But I remember so many things about That Day, and these memories have been flooding back to me since I heard the news of Osama bin Laden's death earlier this week. Like many, I have mixed emotions. I'm glad he was finally found, and - I suppose - brought to justice. There's a bit of relief in the knowledge that he is gone. I am profoundly disturbed, though, at the knowledge that the nearly decade-long hunt for this one man was used as justification for a wars in Afghanistan and Iraq that has, since their respective beginnings in October 2001 and March 2003, cost far, far more lives than were lost on American soil on 9/11.

My heart is troubled today, but not that Osama bin Laden is dead. I think we all knew he wouldn't go down without a fight. I am grieving for what it cost to find him, to bring us to this day. I am grieving for my country at perpetual war. I am grieving for my country deeply divided. I am grieving for the price Humanity has to pay for violence and atrocities thinly disguised as justice. Could all this have been avoided if they'd just found bin Laden in 2001, or 2002? Probably not.

I am not angry. I am sad, but more than that I am resolved to do what I can to make MY country and MY world a better place for my children. It's the least I can do.

ETA: Link to a thoughtful, insightful post by a local UCC pastor - The death of Osama bin Laden and the way of love

drywall

2011-05-03T20:00:00.003-05:00

Drywall goes up in the basement this week. After several months of fairly incremental change, having the walls covered in sheetrock is decidedly dramatic. Here's a peek:

That funny contraption is used for getting sheets of drywall onto the ceiling. He lays it flat on the machine and cranks it right up there. I've never seen anything like it.

Watching this guy do his work is really something. LJ works alone, swiftly and gracefully. It's almost like a dance, the way he can lift a piece of sheetrock, balance it, and punch in more than a dozen screws with his power drill, all in a minute or two.

It will take him the rest of the week to finish putting all the little pieces in, and then he's got to wrap all the corners and put up mud and tape, then texture everything. After that, we paint, and that will be a BIG job. We won't be able to get to that until after the weekend. Stuart is impatient, but I am relieved. I wasn't looking forward to spending Mothers' Day painting a basement ceiling, but I was prepared to do it if I had to. Now it looks like I'll be able to spent the weekend working outside, which is what I really wanted to do in the first place.

Today was chilly (40s) and gloomy. This made me grumpy, I'll admit. I did take the kids to a certain large home improvement store to purchase a new bird feeder (as per Daniel's request) that we really hope is squirrel-proof, but I'm not holding my breath. Those little varmints can bust into ANY bird feeder, as far as I can tell. I also bought a cedar kit for making a raised garden bed. I hope to put it somewhere here:

I'm so apprehensive about this gardening project for some reason. I think I just need more confidence.

weekend

2011-05-01T20:39:00.003-05:00

I spent most of my weekend staining wood around the basement windows:

As you can see, I had a young helper who was Very Excited about the Prospect of Entering and Exiting the house through The Window instead of the Usual Way (through a door).

Boy, is staining a pain in the ass, what with all the sanding and layers of polyurethane and slim margin for error. I've done staining before, though it's been a while, and I had a definite learning curve this time around. We have two of those big egress windows like in the photo above, and two smaller ones on the west side of the house. I'm not sure what was more awkward - straddling the inside and outside of the egress windows, or twisting my torso on the stepladder to reach all the nooks and crannies of the smaller window.

The bad news: I'm not done yet. The good news: I'm at least 75% of the way there. I've got one small window to go, which at this point is totally inaccessible because there's a bunch of not-yet-installed drywall leaning against it (the drywall guy has flaked on us three times in a row, and I'm starting to get peeved), and there's also the wood directly surrounding the glass in the big windows. I've got this process down to a science, though. I'm pretty sure I can handle it.

Between all the window work this weekend and keeping an eye on the kids, I didn't get much of a break to do anything. Stuart and I both baked a bunch of bread today, which is kind of a long story in itself, but since we had too much, I decided to take an extra loaf to a friend in the neighborhood while my husband was giving the kids a much-needed bath. I wanted to share our bounty, but mostly I wanted to get out of the house by myself for a little bit. "I'll be back in 20 minutes," I said as I walked out the door, but we both knew that was a lie.

First I stopped by a neighbor's house around the corner to look at their new raised garden beds, which happen to be exactly like I want to do in our front yard. So I poked around and asked questions while he spread the dirt and watched his two-year-old play in the drivers' seat of their car. Then I stopped by the next house to drop off a couple dollars for the not-quite-dozen eggs I'd picked up earlier in the day (I LOVE having a friend around the corner who raises hens! Incidentally, she has named them all after British royalty.). Finally I made my way up the hill and past the park and around a couple more corners to my original destination and found that the recipient of my bread was in the middle of a dinner party. As it happened, I know or at least am acquainted with all of her guests, and when she asked me to stay for tea and dessert, it just seemed plain rude to turn her down. I even admitted out loud I wasn't quite ready to go home yet...so I stayed. My 20-minute errand had turned into an hour-plus walk through the neighborhood. It was lovely, and just what I needed.

This week the sun is finally shining. I'm going to clean my house and build those garden beds. Golly, I love spring.

rain walk

2011-04-26T15:30:00.005-05:00

It's raining again. All this cold wet weather is kind of making me crazy, but until the sun comes out to shine again, the best we can do is throw on the rain gear and take a walk in the wet, wet woods.

We splash in puddles along the way:

The park with a hiking trail also has a merry-go-round. What is it about kids and spinning around? I'd be dizzy and nauseous on this thing after about 5 seconds, but my kids love it:

By now, of course, the regular climbing equipment is boring (and slippery), so Daniel goes in search of something else to climb. He finds a fallen tree:

Anya, of course, isn't far behind:

Daniel sets about finding out what's underneath all that dead, loose bark.

Hey look! A bug nest with a bunch of grubs of some kind! (I suspect they had something to do with the reason the tree died and fell over, judging from how everything was eaten away under the bark):

The biology lesson ends abruptly when we find a grown-up bug with what might be a nasty-looking stinger! It doesn't have wings and acts sluggish, but the business end of it is menacing enough we decide to go back to the merry-go-round for a while.

Then home for cocoa and popcorn! All in all, a nice afternoon.

more basement pictures

2011-04-24T18:32:00.005-05:00

Basement work continues to progress. It feels like things are really ramping up now! This week the drywall goes in, which means Stuart and I have a lot of painting ahead of us - the one task we don't feel completely inadequate doing ourselves. I think I've finally settled on colors for the walls and ceiling. I'm not looking forward to painting the ceiling. Or the stairwell, for that matter.

I've spent a lot of time staring at these:

Stuart put in several evening hours running network cable, pulling it out when he realized it was too close to the electrical wiring, and re-running it. He's almost done:

Hey, we have a partial shower! Stuart has already called dibs on its inaugural use when the bathroom's all done:

This is what the back yard looks like from the egress window:

Daniel loves the windows. They have a nice deep sill to sit on and a fun crank to turn for opening:

You may notice in some of these pictures that it looks like someone took a giant can of Readi-Whip to the walls. That's actually sprayed-on insulation, and it's the weirdest stuff, like rock-hard foam. It's supposed to make the house much more energy-efficient. We had to vacate the house for a whole day earlier this week to escape the fumes and the noise!

in memoriam

2011-04-23T20:42:00.003-05:00

I learned this week of the passing of one of my high school teachers. Emma "Let's graph that pup!" K was certainly one of the most memorable teachers I ever had. She taught me trigonometry and entry-level physics. These were not subjects that came particularly easily to me, but she made them interesting and I was certainly motivated to do as well as I could with them. I will never forget her her spitfire personality, her enthusiasm, or her enduring energy. May she rest in peace.

Friday 5: earth day edition

2011-04-22T16:06:00.004-05:00

You know that old expression "Think Globally, Act Locally"? More and more, I have come to believe those are words to live by.

It's Earth Day today, and pausing to write this blog post is really the only thing I'm doing to make note of it. Forgive me for the cliché, but I truly believe every day should be Earth Day. I can't single-handedly save the environment or influence the U.S. Congress to do the same, but my family and I are doing our part. That's all we can do, really.

Here are Five Cheap and Simple Things we are doing to make our household more green-friendly:

1. Composting. Seriously, this is a biggie. I'm sure we would be generating about twice as much trash if we didn't compost all of the vegetable matter from the kitchen. Admittedly, I've had my issues with composting before and evidently I've got some things to learn about how to do it properly, but even last year's slimy, stinky mess has finally aired out and turned into nice, dark soil to add to the garden. It's cool how nature takes care of things when you let it. And by the way, you don't have to have a garden to justify having a compost pile. It just turns into dirt, so you can use it to feed your shrubs or give it to a neighbor who's got a garden, or whatever.

2. Clothesline. I love hanging laundry on the line to dry outside. It smells good and saves a bundle on energy when we're not using the dryer. Obviously in Wisconsin we can't hang laundry outside year-round, but it works for 5-6 months out of the year.

3. Ceiling Fans. We already try and use the a/c as little as possible in the summer, but we're looking forward to using it even less this year after having a ceiling fan installed in the living room. It'll cost a couple hundred dollars up front, but that will pay for itself very quickly if we're using the air conditioner less as a result.

4. Eat local vegetables. I know it seems like buying your produce from the farmers' market feels more expensive than buying the cheaper stuff at the grocery store. But think about this: every dollar you spend at a local farmers' market is going right back into the local economy. Plus, it's better for the environment for all kinds of reasons. Even farmers who aren't certified organic almost always use fewer pesticides than large industrial farms and their vegetables/fruits don't have to travel as far to get to you. Locally-grown produce is usually more nutrient-dense and therefore healthier for you, too. Isn't that worth a few extra dollars? If you're willing to commit to an entire season of locally-grown vegetables, consider signing up for a CSA (community supported agriculture). You save money in the long run, and CSA subscriptions provide economic security to those local farms we should be working so hard to preserve.

5. Re-using bags. The amount of plastic filling our landfills, where it will never decompose, is staggering and disturbs me greatly. I have fabric shopping bags that I take grocery shopping (most supermarkets and places like Target sell these now for a dollar or two), and I even have some smaller fabric bags I made out of flour-sack tea towels for produce. I have a pattern somewhere for smaller drawstring bags you can use for bulk dry goods. I even wash out zip-loc bags and re-use them until they tear and have to be thrown away.

Some of this stuff might seem obvious. Some of it might not seem like a big deal. But I still think it's important.

frozen precipitation

2011-04-20T22:05:00.003-05:00

Snow in April makes me cranky.

Snow in April during Daniel's spring break for which I had planned all manner of outside activities including, but not limited to: playing outside, going on picnics, visiting the zoo, playing outside, working in the garden, starting a new vegetable plot in the front yard, and did I mention playing outside? makes me extra cranky.

But we didn't just get snow. We got everything. I complained about this in passing to my parents (on the phone, or in an email, or both - I don't remember now) and I got an email from my dad with an entire glossary of terms describing frozen precipitation (if you know my dad, this shouldn't surprise you):

From "Glossary of Weather and Climate":

frozen precipitation--Any form of precipitation that reaches the ground in frozen form (e.g., snow, snow pellets, snow grains, ice crystals, ice pellets, hail).

snow pellets (formerly called soft hail or graupel)--A type of frozen precipitation consisting of soft spherical (or sometimes conical) particles of opaque, white ice having diameters of 2-5 millimeters. They often break up when striking a hard surface and are distinguished from snow grains in being softer and larger.

snow grains (also known as granular snow)--A form of frozen precipitation consisting of white, opaque particles of ice that are flat or elongated and have diameters of less then 1 millimeter; the solid equivalent of drizzle.

ice pellets (also called sleet)--A type of frozen precipitation consisting of transparent or translucent pellets of ice 5 millimeters or less in diameter. They may be spherical, irregular, or (rarely) conical in shaped. Ice pellets usually bounce when hitting hard ground and make a sound upon impact. There are two types of ice pellets; (a) frozen rain, drizzle, or largely melted then refrozen snowflakes; (b) snow pellets encased in a thin layer of ice.

sleet (also known as ice pellets)--In the United States, frozen raindrops that bounce on impact with the ground or other objects. Elsewhere, may refer to a mix of rain and snow, a mix of rain and hail, or melting snow.

Every kind of ice that can fall from the sky did so yesterday except hail, which is defined as follows: hail--A type of frozen precipitation in the form of balls or irregular lumps of ice, usually consisting of concentric layers of ice. Hailstones come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Hail is always produced by convective clouds, nearly always cumulonimbus. Thunderstorms that are characterized by strong updrafts, an abundant supply of supercooled water droplets, and great vertical development are favorable to hail formation. Large hail, with diameter of 3/4 inch or greater, is a criterion for a severe thunderstorm. (Not: this criterion was changed to 1" just a couple years ago.)

Daniel and Anya and I had the particular privilege of experiencing firsthand just how uncomfortable and painful it is to walk outside during a heavy downfall of graupel (aka "snow pellets" as noted above). We were trying to exit a large home improvement store with a newly purchased ceiling fan (that we thought would be installed today, hence the hurry to buy one, but then it turned out the electrician was running on a tight schedule and will get to it in a few weeks), but after about three seconds of being pummeled with bits of ice that felt like someone fired a shotgun from the heavens, we turned right around and decided to wait it out inside the store. I won't tell you which of my children thought it would be a good idea to pick up one of the ice pellets from the filthy floor and lick it.

It's been kind of a long week, is all I'm saying.

garden wish list

2011-04-17T12:21:00.010-05:00

Man, the weather here stinks, it really does. Yesterday it was actually snowing, which is a weather event I don't mind at all in the middle of January, but April? Come on. There was one consolation, though: Sarah Palin came to town for a Tea Party tax day rally, and she had to give her rambling, incoherent 16-minute speech in the snow. I wasn't downtown yesterday for the counter-protest (or rather, counter-counter-protest, since the anti-Walker protesters are the original bunch), but I spoke with several people who were, and they all said the same thing: Palin's speech was drowned out by anti-Walker protesters, who outnumbered the Palin fans about 10:1. You can read what John Nichols had to say about it here.

But believe it or not, I didn't sit down to write about Wisconsin politics. It just sort of happened.

I actually sat down to write a garden wish list for my yard. It's too chilly and windy outside to work, so instead I'm trying to do a little mental planning - or maybe it's just ambitious daydreaming.

1. Here's a small part of my front yard:

Not so exciting, huh? The dirt patch you see is where I plant several varieties of basil every year. My goal is always to make lots of pesto from it, but it also smells and looks nice. What I'd really like to do with the front yard, though, is convert more of the lawn to a garden of edible plants. I'm waiting for this book from the library, but there's a rather long wait list, so I might just spring for my own copy.

I've already got a nice little patch of herbs and perennial flowers up front, but there's quite a bit of lawn that is patchy and pathetic because we refuse to treat it with chemicals. I know there are environmentally friendly ways to maintain a lawn, but if I'm going to go to a lot of trouble with yard work, I'd much rather spend that effort on growing plants we can eat and admire than keeping the grass green. The tricky part is accomplishing this without making a mess of things and sabotaging curb appeal, and that's where I'm stumped. I'm not a landscape artist, or even that great of a gardener (though I'm determined to learn), but I have hope. I also refuse to buy into the notion that as middle-class homeowners, we are somehow required to have a perfect, green lawn. I know I don't look the part of the rebel, but I am.

2. We're going to get a rain barrel this year. I'm not sure why it's taken us this long, honestly. Inertia (or lack thereof)? Anyway, the impetus this year is that we're getting a new roof and gutters thanks to a bad hailstorm last fall, so it seems as good a time as any.

3. Here's a view of our basement windows from the outside:

I'm not sure what to do with that space right now. Eventually we want to put a patio there, but since we're spending so much money finishing the basement this spring, it might be better to put off that expense for a year and plant some flowers instead.

4. This isn't a coffin:

No, this prize piece of carpentry is a rickety old cupboard that was pulled out of the basement in preparation for the renovation work going on. We were just going to put it out on the curb for the garbage truck to haul away, but then I came up with a better idea: recycle it! I want to turn it into a planter. I'll take off the door, drill some holes in the bottom for drainage and clean it up. Then I'll put a layer of primer over the whole thing, and once that's dry, let the kids paint it to their hearts' content. I'm not comfortable letting them use outdoor paint (rather toxic and not washable), so I'll just let them go wild with all colors of poster paint and cover it later with a protective sealant of some kind. Then we'll fill it with soil and plant some lettuce in it, or flowers, or whatever they want. We need a couple days in a row of warm, dry weather because this is definitely an outdoor project, and unfortunately, it doesn't look like that's in the forecast any time soon.

5. I'm determined to compost successfully this year. So far nothing smells like a rotten diaper, so we're off to a good start.

What about you? What do you dream of doing in the great outdoors?

random monday

2011-04-11T09:13:00.004-05:00

1. Yesterday almost felt like summer. It was bizarre; after weeks of cold, wet, dreary weather, all of a sudden it was sunny and almost 80 degrees. Stuart and I both went running, we did some work in our community garden plot, and we ate dinner outside.

2. Unfortunately, Daniel was not able to enjoy the nice weekend as much as he would have liked, since he is on his third round of antibiotics for a stubborn ear infection that's been bothering him off and on for six weeks now. He's no longer taking the tasty pink stuff, but some chalky white stuff that looks (and smells) much less appealing. Let's hope it does the job.

3. The warm weather brought dire thunderstorm warnings. There was talk of storm "super-cells" that would almost certainly bring tornadoes and large hail. This worried Stuart enough that he took the nice car - the one that was just in the body shop for nearly a month getting repaired from the last big hailstorm - to the parking garage at his workplace to protect it from this weekend's predicted hail. The hail never came. In fact, we heard some rumblings of thunder, and it got pretty windy, but that was about it.

4. The outdoor farmers' markets open this coming weekend! There won't be much produce to buy aside from hoophouse salad greens, maybe some storage potatoes and mushrooms, but it's exciting all the same.

5. I've been knitting a sweater for Stuart, one he'll hopefully want to wear (unlike the last one I made him about ten years ago that was admittedly kind of horrible but I didn't realize it at the time!). I mistakenly made every piece too long, which required some sweater surgery and that's all fixed now. Alas, I've run into some more problems with the way the sleeves and shoulders fit together, and I don't know how to fix it. It's very frustrating. Note to self: AVOID SADDLE SHOULDERS IN THE FUTURE BECAUSE THEY ARE A HUGE PAIN IN THE ARSE AND NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE. Honestly, it's been a while since I've had a colossal knitting fail, so I should consider myself lucky. I just wish it wouldn't have happened on a man-sized sweater!

jumping on the crazy train

2011-04-07T21:51:00.004-05:00

Seriously, people, I could cry. Or start banging my head against the wall. Or maybe a little of both. Because what started two months ago as a massive protest movement against extreme legislation by Wisconsin Republicans has turned into a legal shitstorm and a supreme court election that has given me a 3-day headache so bad we're about to run out of Advil.

What's got me so frustrated aren't the details of the situation here, maddening and confusing as they all are. My problem here is that the discussion has the reasonable citizens of this state arguing for and defending the fundamental purpose of government. If you are a true believer in the democratic process - flawed as it may be - you probably share my view that we ARE the government. And what is government's role but to protect its own people? Our public institutions - our schools, libraries, parks, public institutions of higher education, access to healthcare for the poor, you name it - are under threat because a few people with a lot of power and without a whole lot of sense refuse to acknowledge the importance of these public institutions and organizations to the very fabric and well-being of our society as a whole.

Gutting public education benefits no one and promotes ignorance. Crippling municipalities by slashing their funding for things like mandated recycling programs and public transportation does NOT give them "flexibility" but forces them to eliminate basic services that people depend on. Severely limiting the rights of workers to collectively negotiate their own work conditions is degrading and demoralizing. It also pisses off a whole lot of people. I could go on here, but my point is that instead of engaging in civilized discourse about how our public systems should be run, we've degenerated into a ideological fight over whether the government should actually be responsible for the well-being of its own citizens.

This is, I think, at the heart of the potential federal shutdown looming before us as well. I'm not going to go on about corporate power controlling people in government because, well, it's there and it's a big problem and I don't have anything new to say about it...except that there just seems to be so little balance remaining on the side of citizenry. I truly fear for the future. I truly fear for what lies in store for my children when they are grown up and on their own. What world will they face? What sort of a country will they live in?

I'm not saying that if JoAnne Kloppenburg (whose name I can finally spell correctly, sheesh) ends up in the Wisconsin Supreme Court that the world will be saved somehow, or even Wisconsin. It's just that for a whole day I had hope that the actions (re: votes) of us ordinary citizens would make a difference and get us going back in the right direction.

Oh no.

2011-04-07T19:58:00.001-05:00

Oh no.

WAHOO!

2011-04-06T17:28:00.005-05:00

Kloppenberg declares victory over Prosser with a razor-thin margin of 206 votes.

It may not seem like such a big victory for JoAnne Kloppenberg, considering the tiny majority with which she won, but there is much to celebrate today. For one thing, there was some serious voter turnout for yesterday's election. Some precincts ran out of ballots and had to order more. The vote-counting was a nail biter to the end. I've got a raging headache from it all, to be honest, though I tried not to stay glued to the computer too much following updates last night and today. For another thing, Kloppenberg was running against a well-established incumbent. Normally Prosser would have won the race by a landslide for no other reason than the fact that he's already held the position for more than a decade (he was appointed in the late 1990s, then elected in 2001).

Maybe it's the bit of unexpected sunshine this afternoon, or maybe it's the first crocus we found blooming in the front yard today, but my despair of the past few days is turning hopeful.

When people show up in droves at the polls to exercise their democratic rights (I would go so far as to say "responsibility" but let's not go there for now) and be engaged in the election process, I am encouraged. Voting DOES matter. Elections DO have consequences.

And considering the unexpected dramatic turns and political finagling over the last few months...well, I expect things will continue to stay very, very interesting.

voting day

2011-04-05T06:49:00.003-05:00

If you live in Wisconsin, please remember to VOTE TODAY! We'll be leaving shortly after breakfast to do just that.

Today's election is the sort that normally flies under the radar, but the controversy and protests over Walker's collective bargaining bill and budget cuts have brought national attention to the supreme court race. Prosser, the incumbent, is a hotheaded (a couple weeks ago he called the chief justice a "bitch" in public) former Republican legislator who now claims impartiality, but until Walker's popularity plummeted, declared himself a proud conservative. I, of course, will be voting for his opponent, JoAnne Kloppenberg, a judge with 21 years of experience. ETA: Oops! I spoke too soon; Kloppenberg isn't a judge; she's an assistant attorney general.

Many see today's election as a referendum on Scott Walker. We can't recall him yet, but we can vote out the supreme court justice who stands at his side.

basement progress

2011-04-03T18:13:00.003-05:00

I haven't written a whole lot about the basement work here, but right now it's certainly a big part of our lives. Daniel is particularly enthralled with all the work being done. He likes to sit on the steps and watch the guys use those noisy tools. He asks a million questions and draws pictures in his notebook and is disappointed when he misses out on the goings-on because we have to leave for preschool or errands. Anya really couldn't care less about what's happening downstairs, but I don't know if it's because she's so shy or because she's not as interested in Things That Make Loud Noises, or both.

For fun, I thought I'd share a few pictures of this week's progress. We certainly have a ways to go before it's all finished, but it's exciting to see the project evolve.

Here are the new water lines. The red and blue plex lines replaced 60-year-old galvanized steel with so much crud and rust built up the water ran brown for several minutes out of every faucet. We had to vacate the house for a whole day while the water was off.

Here's a glimpse of where the bathroom will be.

The big windows that were installed last November:

And finally, Stuart trying his hand at installing network cables. We are a modern household, you know, and there must be good internet access both above ground and below! He had to get a bunch of equipment and cables and spent quite a bit of time this morning with a tape measure and stud finder before cutting into the drywall with a special little saw.

I was kind of nervous about the end result, but so far things look good! No gaping holes in the wall, at any rate. Of course, there is still time for things to go wrong, but at least we know a good drywall guy.

keep your eyes on the prize

2011-04-01T14:51:00.004-05:00

ETA: Monday, April 4, is the anniversary of the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr as he stood in solidarity with sanitation workers in Memphis, TN. Events are planned around the country in honor of Dr. King and in solidarity with union workers in Wisconsin and elsewhere. Click here to see how you can join in.

First of all, we got snow on April Fools' Day, and I'm not joking about that!

Second, you know Wisconsin Republicans think they're above and outside of the law when the biggest headline of day is that they decided to follow the law. Walker's administration finally agreed to comply with a judge's order to halt implementation of the law while they sort out the legal mess created by the 1) senate vote, which violated open meetings laws, and 2) publication of the bill by the Legislative Reference Bureau after the temporary restraining order was issued.

So I took the kids downtown for a short visit to the Capitol Rotunda at noon today. Since the Walker administration has restricted access to the Capitol and ordered police to issue tickets to anyone holding signs in areas other than the designated "demonstration area", someone started sing-alongs every day from 12-1. That building has some really kick-ass acoustics, so I couldn't pass up the opportunity to join in!

Here are some people courageously holding signs on the second floor balcony, well outside the "free speech zone":

The women holding that blue Wisconsin flag are from a group called the "Raging Grannies." They stated that the flag is upside down on purpose and is meant as a distress call for the state of Wisconsin:

And my kids? Well, I think they enjoy listening to the singing more than other types of protesting. At least, they didn't complain as much as usual!

I know a lot of you must be sick and tired of reading about this, but one reason I keep blogging about the political situation here is that IT IS NOT OVER. Far from it. It's going to be a long, hard fight. It's already a long, hard fight! But if Walker ultimately fails in his efforts gouge public services and strip public employees of their collective bargaining rights, it will be well worth the effort. We must have hope. We must not lose interest or lose our way because there is too much at stake.

the plot, it thickens

2011-03-29T20:45:00.007-05:00

The plot, it thickens. And that's putting it mildly. There's a real legal clusterf**k in the state of Wisconsin now, as disagreement abounds over whether Walker's budget repair bill is actually law. As I summarized a couple of posts ago, the bill was voted on illegally by senate Republicans, who violated the open meetings law by not giving a 24-hour notice of the vote. Then Walker signed the bill, despite serious questions of legality and constitutionality of the vote. Then Doug La Follette, the Secretary of State, announced he would wait the maximum allotted time to publish the bill - 10 business days, until March 25 - because of the legal issues at stake. Before that date, a Dane county judge issued a TRO (temporary restraining order) barring La Follette from publishing the bill while those legal questions remained unanswered. The state Attorney General, J.B. Van Hollen, requested an appeal "on La Follette's behalf" (even though he has stated multiple times that he never asked to be represented) so the bill could be published within the required 10 days of being signed by the Gov. I believe that the AG has since been pulled from representing La Follette, who never asked for it in the first place. Meanwhile, the Legislative Bureau published the bill on their website on their own.

Whether this makes the bill an actual LAW depends on who you ask. On the one hand, a bill must be published by the Secretary of State to become law. The Secretary of State has not yet published the bill. On the other hand, a bill must be published within 10 business days of being signed, and the Legislative Bureau did just that.

Someone from Walker's administration said that the law is in effect and the next paycheck to state employees will reflect that. But today, Dane County Circuit court Judge Maryann Sumi barred further implementation of the law until further legal action is taken.

Dude. WTF is going on here?

This situation is now not only infuriating, but really dang confusing. I am doing my part by keeping up with the situation as best I can. I will certainly be voting April 5 (JOANNE KLOPPENBURG FOR SUPREME COURT!!! TOTALLY UNDECIDED ABOUT MADISON MAYOR, SEEMS LIKE A TOSS-UP!!!). Also, as much as I can, I will have a continued presence at the Capitol, sometimes with my children and sometimes not.

One thing is for certain: Madison is a very interesting place to be right now.

miscellaneous monday

2011-03-28T16:12:00.003-05:00

1. We are still waiting for spring to arrive here. Though Madison has been spared the big snowstorms communities a little farther north have seen, it's still plenty cold (the temp was 15 when we got up this morning), actual spring-like weather still feels like it's a long way off.

2. There are little signs that winter is ending, though. Longer hours of daylight certainly make for more cheerful afternoons, and the daffodils and tulips are poking their leaves through the cold, muddy ground.

3. Also, I got a nice little surprise in my inbox this morning. We've been wait-listed for a plot in a nearby community garden. Since we were pretty far down the list, I wasn't expecting to get a plot until next year, but a few hours ago I received an email that a spot opened up for us! I've tried gardening in a variety of community plots over the last several years, and I'm the first to admit that I haven't been very successful. Oh, hell, let's tell it like it is: I'm a pretty lousy gardener. But the stubborn part of my nature refuses to give up. A big perk of this community garden is that it's very close to our house, not quite close enough for the kids to walk, but certainly close enough to bike, so we should be able to get out there often enough for adequate watering and weeding.

4. Among the many objectionable policies of Gov. Walker's administration is his expansion of the school voucher program. Educational public policy is a HUGE subject, and other than being a product of Kentucky public schools, as well as a daughter, niece, granddaughter, great-niece and cousin to people who have taught in public schools (and higher education) I'm no expert. So I'm not going to go on and on about education "reform" here, at least not today. But I have recently run across two excellent articles on the subject, so I'm linking them here because I think they are definitely worth the time it takes to read:
Kristine Mattis: The Media on Education
Stan Karp: Who's Bashing Teachers and Public Schools and What Can We Do About It?

5. Along those lines, as I ponder my career direction or the lack thereof, I'm starting to seriously consider becoming a teacher. I hesitate for a lot of reasons that are probably obvious: the work involved to get certified, the work involved in the actual job, the fact that doing so would be calling it quits for real in my life as a musician, and last but certainly not least the current vilification of teachers and attack on public education from so many people and entities like state and federal governing bodies. (I'm not excusing Democrats on this, mind. I do not like President Obama's education policies one bit.) But I think I would probably be a pretty good teacher and I've always been passionate about education, so I'm thinking about it.

6. I would definitely teach high school. I would much rather wrangle a room full of adolescents than a room full of young children.

7. I would definitely NOT teach music in a public school setting.

8. In fact, my dream job today would be to join the faculty of a liberal arts college and split my time between collaborating with students, faculty and guest artists in recitals, and coaching undergraduates in chamber music and vocal accompanying. That would be so awesome. Unfortunately, I've never heard of a position like that anywhere. There are staff accompanists, certainly, but they are almost always adjunct positions and the people who are hired are badly overworked, underpaid, and not treated with a whole lot of respect. And are also without the teaching component, which is a big part of what I love to do.

9. Said dream job does not exist and probably never will, even in a culturally-informed place like Madison. So maybe it's time I face reality and stop whining about feeling worthless and irrelevant and try going in a new direction.

10. Anyway, if I were to go into the field of public education, I'd have to pick a subject and more or less start over. I could probably skim off a semester or two of General Education requirements since I already have a college degree (and several graduate degrees), but I have no formal teacher training (piano pedagogy does not count, alas) and no formal education in any subject area relevant to high school education. This is daunting.

11. Maybe I should just keep limping along with the freelancing and the "full-time and unpaid" Mom Thing and wait another two years for Anya to be in public school full-time before I make any big decisions.

12. By then I'll be in my (gulp!) MID-THIRTIES, i.e. too old.

13. This is hard. Can you tell?

another saturday, another protest

2011-03-26T12:23:00.004-05:00

Just because I haven't blogged about the political situation here in Wisconsin doesn't mean that I've forgotten about it or lost interest. No, no. Far from it. I just thought y'all could use a little break.

But I'm back to writing about this because the situation is getting worse, not better, and the tactics certain members of the Republican party have resorted to in order to get their way deserves scrutiny and criticism. (I could actually use much stronger language to convey my feelings on the subject, but I'm a big believer in civil discourse, especially in times like these, so I'm going to keep calm and cool here.)

I'll try and spare you details because those can be found from better media sources than this blog, but in case you haven't been paying much attention, I'll get you up to speed. On March 9, State Senate Republican leader Scott Fitzgerald held a vote on the [supposedly] non-fiscal portions of Gov. Scott Walker's budget repair bill. The vote was taken less than two hours after it was announced, which is in direct violation of the state's open meetings law, which requires a 24-hour notice. None of the 14 Democratic senators who left the state to deny quorum were able to make it back in time for a vote. Walker signed the bill on Friday, March 11. Madison saw its biggest rally yet the next day (Stuart was there; I was on my way to Kentucky with the kids) with well over 100,000 people in attendance. The bill can not become law until it is published by the Secretary of State Doug La Follette. La Follette announced he would wait the maximum waiting period - 10 days - before publishing the law because of the various legal questions surrounding the bill, in particular the constitutionality of the senate vote. A Dane county judge issued a court order blocking the publication of the bill. That court order has been challenged by the state Attorney General Van Hollen, and now the whole thing is going to the state supreme court. Yesterday, the Legislative Reference Bureau published the bill anyway, which doesn't make it law (that can't happen until it's published by the Secretary of State), but it's an administrative step taken in defiance of the court order.

It's all rather confusing, isn't it? As far as I can understand, the legal wrangling is not about whether the senate vote was constitutional (it clearly wasn't), but is all about whether the judicial branch has the right to step into the legislative process. Normally, they don't intervene, but of course, everything about this situation is exceptional. It was blatantly illegal for the senate to call a vote on the budget repair bill less than 24 hours after announcing it, so the vote should not be valid. But does a judge have the right to intervene in how the legislature handles its affairs and issue a restraining order to block the bill from being published? Obviously, I'm no expert on the law and the constitution, but it seems to me that if the legislative leaders so blatantly disregard the law, they should not be able to get away with it. What's the point of having those rules if they're not followed? And if they're not enforced?

You might ask, if the bill is hung up in court because the vote taken on it was unconstitutional, why doesn't Scott Fitzgerald just call another vote, wait the 24 hours, and do the whole thing over legitimately? In a rare moment of journalistic integrity, Greta Van Susteren of Fox News asked Fitzgerald that very question, and he all but admitted he's afraid he won't get the votes the second time around. If you don't believe me, watch it for yourself: video of Scott Fitzgerald speaking with Greta van Susteren.

So even though marching around the Capitol Square in the cold (it was 25, windy and spitting snow this afternoon) with my handmade "Save Union Rights and Medicaid!" signs is starting to get a little old, I was back there today. The crowd was certainly smaller than in weekends past, but determined all the same, and we were joined by several Union Cabs in parade honking "SHOW me what de-MOC-racy LOOKS LIKE!".

There is so much at stake in this fight: union rights, public services, the quality of public and higher education, and now, the integrity of the democratic and legislative process. It saddens me to see my home state so deeply divided, to see people pitted against one another on issues like whether teachers are over-compensated for the work they do. I am not giving up.

cooking lessons

2011-03-24T19:56:00.005-05:00

I think March is the worst month for eating produce. We've eaten nearly all of last season's berries from the freezer, and last fall's tomato sauce and applesauce are long gone. There aren't any local vegetables available; even the storage root vegetables like carrots and strange knobby things like burdock and celeriac are gone from the coop's shelves, and everything has to be trucked in from California and the southern continents. About a month from now the farmers' markets will open with spring greens and mushrooms and loads of garden plants that promise all the fresh goodies to come, but right now it's cold and dreary and nothing is ready to grow in the ground yet. It's wholly uninspiring.

Since the family is starting to get tired of the same old meals every week, tasty as they might be, I figure now is as good a time as any to branch out my cooking repertoire. I checked out some Jacques Pépin DVDs from the library, along with a Korean cookbook. I'm itching to try out some recipes from a traditional Kentucky Bluegrass cookbook my mom gave me for Christmas (I'm hoping there's a good grits recipe in there. How I love grits!) I have a couple ethnic Indian cookbooks I haven't looked at in a while. When it comes to my gourmet aspirations (note that I don't go so far as to say "gourmet successes"!), I'm nothing if not diverse.

But for all the books and videos I may own or borrow, there's nothing like learning from someone in person. Yesterday I had a lesson on how to make kimchi, and boy was it fun. It was also extremely messy, which is why I have no pictures of the actual process, since I was elbow-deep in salty water and/or red chili paste much of the time.

I certainly can't claim to be any kind of expert on Korean cuisine, but I have adored the few things I've tried in restaurants and in people's homes, things like bibimbab and seaweed rolls and red bean cake (it's a dessert). And of course, kimchi, which is, as far as I can tell, quintessentially Korean. Traditionally, it's made in huge batches and stored in pits underground, where the cool temperatures are perfect for long-term preservation, though now most Korean households have a separate kimchi refrigerator.

You start by quartering and salting large bunches of bok choy. Then you chop radishes and green onion into thin slices and salt them, too. Yesterday, we did this on my friend's kitchen floor while Anya watched, rapt. She stirred the large bowl of salt water and helped pile the sliced radishes in another large bowl. You let all the salted vegetables sit for six hours or so, and then the fun part begins. My friend poured about two cups (!) of red chili flakes into a bowl and mixed that with more salt, then chopped ginger and garlic, and plenty of fish sauce and some kind of weird salty shrimp paste. To avoid burning our skin, we donned plastic gloves - the kind I remember lunch ladies wearing in the cafeteria of my elementary school - and massaged the chili paste into the sliced radish mixture until it was, as she said, "the right color." This was smeared into layers of bok choy, which were then stuffed into gallon jars (we filled three) and left to sit overnight at room temperature to ferment. I kept snitching the spicy radish slices, it was so good.

The end result is a thing of beauty, wouldn't you agree?

Now I need to learn how to cook some good Korean food to eat this with!

the first day of spring...

2011-03-20T15:39:00.004-05:00

...is wet and cold and gloomy in Wisconsin. After all the snow we get in the winter, I suppose I should be glad to see the rain melt much of it away, but after our warm week in Kentucky, it's rather disheartening to return home to FitzWalkerstan (I had to throw that in, y'know!) and the muddy, cold, puddly mess that is Madison in the early spring. The doom and gloom from the other side of the globe has me worried as well. Is our military going to be mired in yet another messy, drawn-out war? (Remember, they thought Afghanistan would be a quick project, and Iraq as well. We're still there, and we still don't have many friends despite attempts to "spread democracy" with military might. Anyway.) What on earth will happen with those nuclear reactors in Japan? It's terrifying.

Our lives here continue more or less as usual, though. In fact, Stuart and I were able to put these things aside for a little while this afternoon as we contemplated flooring for the basement and other matters of home improvement. Work on the basement is progressing, in fact. I'm happy to report that the jackhammering was done and over with while I was out of town with the kids, pipe has been laid, and the concrete restored in the location of our future second bathroom. (Have I mentioned that Anya finally potty-trained about a month ago? Yeah, that bathroom won't be ready a day too soon.) A frame of 2x4s has been erected where the walls will go, ductwork has been removed, and new water piping is spread across the floor in anticipation of replacing the galvanized steel pipes that have been in place since the house was built nearly 60 years ago.

So Things are Happening, and even though it's still a little while before we will be able to call it "finished!", there are some final decisions to be made. Things like "What kind of vanity do we want in the bathroom?" which sounds like an easy decision, but it's not. Before I left town, we went to the lumber supply store our contractor likes to do business with, and within 20 minutes we had something all picked out...and then we changed our minds as we were walking out of the store. We turned right around and modified the order. I'm happy with the new decision, which is a good thing since it's been ordered and is now a done deal, but I have to say, the vanity is only the beginning. Today we went to a carpet/flooring place to look at flooring for the bathroom and pick out carpet for the rest of the basement. Even when you narrow down your choices according to price, it's a little overwhelming. It's not like we're working with an interior decorator or designer, so it's hard to know where to start. We'll just go with boring neutral colors and relatively plain texture and play it safe, I guess.

The one decision I feel really good about is tiling the bathroom floor. Until today I assumed we'd go with vinyl because it's much less expensive, and also, as our contractor pointed out, a tiled floor will feel pretty cold, especially in a basement. But you know what? I hate vinyl. I hate that it looks and smells like plastic. I hate that it's trying to look like stone or tile or mosaic or what-have-you when it obviously isn't. I hate that it's terrible for the environment. I hate that it can get gouged so easily. So we're going with tile, even though it's cold (that's what rugs are for, right?) and more expensive (we're talking 50 square feet here, maximum, not such a big deal), and I feel really good about that.

Just don't ask me what color we're going to paint the walls.

green

2011-03-18T08:13:00.003-05:00

How about a brief reprieve from my political rambling (and ranting)?
This week in Kentucky has been so nice and relaxing - no obligations, no jackhammering in the basement, and the weather has been lovely and warm. So lovely and warm, in fact, that we spent a good part of St. Patrick's Day helping Oma (that's what the kids call my mom) plant a few rows of her spring garden.

Also, Daniel is becoming an expert tree climber.

a matter of opinion (yeah, yeah, more union stuff)

2011-03-14T16:02:00.002-05:00

Daniel has a spring break this week, so I drove the kids to Kentucky so we could visit my parents. My mom and dad have been following the protest movement in Wisconsin pretty closely, since I live there and all, and this morning my mom brought to my attention this opinion piece printed in this morning's Lexington-Herald Leader.

The article is filled with inaccuracies and misrepresentation of both the situation in Wisconsin and the role of unions for teachers. No wonder: it's written by two people who run the Association of American Educators, which specifically advertises itself as supporting non-union teachers. I couldn't just let it go without a response, so I posted a rather lengthy comment on the article online, which I have re-printed below:

I live in Madison, WI, and have witnessed first-hand the weeks of protests and demonstrations there. There are many inaccuracies and misrepresentations in this opinion article by Beckner and Jackson-Eaglin, and I hope to address a few of them here.

First, the statement "Despite pleas to work with unions from legislators, union bosses have made it clear that they would rather see teachers laid off in certain states than make concessions during difficult economic times" is categorically untrue. Within the first week of protests in Madison, state employee unions agreed to make ALL economic concessions Gov. Walker asked for in order to balance the budget, in exchange for keeping their collective bargaining rights. This amounts to a 8-12% paycut for state employees, including teachers, which translates to a significant reduction in monthly take-home pay. Even with these economic concessions and repeated requests to come to the table for negotiations, the governor and Republican leaders in the State legislature flatly refused. (Here is a link to one of many articles recounting Walker and Senate leader Fitzgerald's refusal to budge.)

Second, the statement "In no way does the legislation eliminate the union; rather, it reins in its ability to forcibly collect dues from teachers" is also untrue. Walker's budget repair bill forces unions to hold a vote annually just to remain in existence. This effectively DOES eliminate unions, especially since Walker's bill also strips nearly all public employee unions of collective bargaining rights (all but the police and firefighters). With no power to bargain with the state for fair wages and working conditions, and forced to hold elections every single year to remain in existence, unions will be eliminated. Does the AAE have annual elections to exist? Do politicians have to be re-elected on an annual basis?

Third, the statement, "The unions have enabled AWOL legislators in Wisconsin with their rhetoric, fueled never-ending protests, trashed state capitols, and left their posts in the classroom for days" is a blatant misrepresentation of the situation. Again, I LIVE in Madison, and I have witnessed these events firsthand. Over the past month, thousands upon thousands of people have exercised their democratic right to free speech expressing their deep dissatisfaction and anger with Walker's budget bill. There is absolutely no way a few union leaders are powerful enough to have made this happen on their own! Additionally, this movement has been entirely peaceful with no violent incidents and no arrests made, just lots of shouting and a few dozen protesters engaging in civil disobedience when Walker's administration ordered the Capitol closed to the public against a judge's order.

I have been to the protests 100,000 strong, I have been inside the Capitol building many times throughout the past several weeks, I have stood among the teachers, nurses, doctors, public safety officials, university professors who work for the state of Wisconsin, and I have seen the thousands of students (Kindergarten through college), parents and non-unionized workers from the private sector who support the state employees.

After all these points I've made, I think the real problem with Beckner and Jackson-Eaglin's article is that they completely misrepresent the purpose of unions in the first place. The number one purpose of a union is to collectively bargain a fair work contract for the employees it represents. This includes wages, benefits and work conditions. Wisconsin has the oldest public employee unions in the entire country, in which teachers play a large role. Wisconsin ALSO has one of the best system of public schools in the nation. This is not a coincidence.

magic

2011-03-11T21:09:00.005-06:00

This week it feels like the world is, quite literally, falling apart. Lybia has descended into civil war, Wisconsin Republicans have stomped upon democracy in the face of the largest public uprising in recent memory, and Japan...oh, Japan. My heart breaks for you.

I honestly think that the only thing keeping me going this week is my children. They are simply too young to understand the situation downtown, though I bring them to demonstrations anyway. (Daniel, though, has recently become of aware of global climate change and will randomly bring up the subject of penguins and polar bears and how they are dying because the ice they need is melting, which is not such an uplifting topic, but at least he knows that polar bears and penguins do not, in fact, live in the same hemisphere...) Their innocence keeps me grounded.

A few nights this week I've stayed up late reading to Daniel. You see, we've just discovered the Magic Tree House books, and he is enthralled with them. We curl up on the couch under a soft, warm blanket and he leans over and looks at the pictures as I read through each short chapter, stopping every once in a while to explain what's going on. The stories are rather formulaic and straightforward, but delightfully imaginative. Sometimes he makes it to the end, and sometimes he falls asleep leaning on my ribcage before I get to the end. Daniel is so taken with the Magic Tree House books that I've checked the first 19 of them out from the library (stocking up, you know!) He stacks them up in order and looks at the covers and stares at the pictures and asks me to read to him first thing in the morning.

I love that my kids can get lost in stories already, even though they're not reading on their own yet. We've read so much Winnie the Pooh that I think Anya believes Tigger is real. In fact, we recently discovered that our back yard is the perfect setting for Winnie the Pooh. There is a huge, old maple tree that could be Pooh's house, a half dozen spruce trees much like the Six Pine Trees where Piglet lives, a sandbox that would serve nicely as the Sandy Place Kanga and Roo call home, and we figure Eeyore's Gloomy Place is probably near the compost. Christopher Robin likely has the prime real estate: the large plastic hand-me-down climber. We haven't quite decided where Rabbit's hole or Owl's house are, but we'll figure it out I'm sure.

Sometimes getting lost in a good story is just what you need.

wisconsin

2011-03-09T18:16:00.004-06:00

Seriously, folks. This is bad. Really, really bad.

The senate Republicans have finally acknowledged that stripping collective bargaining rights from state workers was never about the money. In the absence of the 14 Senate Democrats who are still in Illinois to stall the vote on this awful bill, the Republicans are AT THIS MOMENT in session to pass the collective bargaining provisions as a separate bill. They can do this without quorum because it has no fiscal impact.

I have achieved a new level of fury, of rage. This is not how democracy works. This is not how you treat the working people of your state. This will not stand.

I will be downtown tomorrow, I guarantee. And to those who want to deny public workers their rights, I have this to say: THE LAST THREE WEEKS OF INTENSE, PEACEFUL PROTESTS WAS ONLY THE WARM-UP. THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN, ARE SPEAKING, WILL CONTINUE TO SPEAK, AND YOU. WILL. LISTEN.

this is no longer a protest, but a movement

2011-03-05T17:06:00.003-06:00

could this week just be over already?

2011-03-02T16:19:00.006-06:00

I am having a craptastic week.

First there's our governor, who hasn't budged one bit on his budget repair bill, and yesterday's budget speech spelled more gloom and doom for the state. His rhetoric is dripping with phrases like "flexibility for local governments" and "fiscal responsibility" but the reality is that he's slashing every public service from public education to Medicaid to recycling programs to public transit while giving more tax breaks to big business. If you watched the speech, as I did, you'd think he was some big hero the way all the Republicans gave him standing ovations every 2 minutes (while the Democrats clad in orange t-shirts sat in resolute, polite silence), but if you listen very carefully, you can hear the throngs of people outside the Capitol (who are not allowed inside because of the Dept of Administration's lockdown, despite a judge's restraining order to the contrary) chanting "Shame! Shame! Shame!" and other slogans.

Second, my kids, who have been under the weather off and on for the past month, are both pretty sick this week with ear infections. My main concern, of course, is taking care of them and trying to ease their misery as much as possible, but it's made for some restless nights on the couch with sad, feverish children, lack of sleep in general, and a certain amount of frustration that I can not participate in the protests downtown as I would like to.

To top it all off, the dinner I made last night was such a disgusting, mushy pile of disastrous rice pilaf that none of us could eat it, healthy or not, and I had to toss the whole thing in the trash. I fumed and nibbled on salad while the rest of the family made do with leftover beans and tortillas. I'm not saying every meal I prepare is a stunning culinary success, but I haven't made something so utterly inedible in YEARS. I blame sleep deprivation, my sore back, and general stress and distraction over Wisconsin's politics for the cooking FAIL.

On a totally irrelevant, but more cheerful, note, I got new glasses last week:

You can't see in the picture, but the frames are purple with orange accents. I love them. Stuart's comment: "I'll....get used to those. Eventually."

How about a picture of my little red-headed cutie pie?

All right, then. Sorry about being such a downer here. My next post will be more upbeat, or at least more newsworthy. Promise.

it ain't over yet

2011-03-01T07:52:00.005-06:00

Protests at the Capitol were at least 100,000 strong on Saturday, and I was among them. I was back on Sunday afternoon to participate in a knit-in. I left before the 4:00pm deadline when people were supposed to clear out or risk arrest, and I've been home since then with a sick child. I'm not sure when I'll make it downtown again, but I've been following local news sources and live feeds rather obsessively to keep up with what is going on there.

And it's not pretty. The Governor's Budget address is this afternoon, and his administration is making every attempt to restrict public access to the Capitol building, citing security concerns. After two weeks of entirely peaceful protests, during which there were no arrests and no reports of violence (aside from one citation of a woman who spit on a 10-year-old girl), even with thousands and thousands of people occupying the Capitol day and night, the police have been ordered not to let anyone in without a state ID or invitation from a legislator. In addition, the Republican senators have instituted some new rules aimed at putting pressure on the Fab 14 - the fourteen Democratic senators who remain in Illinois to stall vote on the bill. One new rule is that they are no longer being paid by direct deposit, and must show up in person to pick up their paychecks, which are locked in someone's desk in the Capitol building. Another rule is that they must sign their staffers' timesheets in person, which means their staffers are no longer being paid. Their copy codes for copy machines have been yanked.

Lawsuits have been filed. There's a formal complaint to the Labor Relations Board against Scott Walker for refusing to come to the bargaining table to negotiate. There are legal and ethical questions about Walker's ties to the GOP and his consideration to plant troublemakers in the protest crowds after that prank call from Ian Murphy posing as David Koch. There are challenges to the constitutionality of restricting public access to the Capitol during business hours.

The mainstream national media isn't providing adequate coverage, so here are some links for those of you wanting more details:

Live blog from the Isthmus - continuing coverage on the ground and inside

Representative turned away from Capitol (Madison Cap Times)

Learn more about what exactly is collective bargaining and how it works.

NYTimes article from Monday about protesters locked out of Capitol

Excellent article by John Nichols from The Nation about Saturday's protest

Channel3000 story on Republicans putting pressure on Democratic senators in Illinois re: staffer timesheets and copy machines

WSEU files unfair labor practice charge against Walker (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

So does AFSCME!

100,000 strong: an afternoon of protesting in pictures

2011-02-26T19:53:00.004-06:00

who planted THIS troublemaker? Scott Walker and the brothers Koch

2011-02-24T18:51:00.007-06:00

If you've been following the situation here in Wisconsin (yes, the apex is in Madison, but today protests are state-wide, as are, of course, the concerns about Walker's bill) you just may have heard about the prank phone call our esteemed Governor received yesterday morning. A blogger named Ian Murphy posing as David Koch had a 20-minute phone conversation with Scott Walker, during which Walker believed he was talking to the actual David Koch the entire time and divulged troubling information about his plans for this bill and beyond. It's hardly worth linking here because I'm sure a google search will result in several sites with the recording of the phone call and transcriptions, but here you go anyway (that link is a transcription of the entire phone call, printed in the Wisconsin State Journal). Jon Stewart couldn't help weighing in already (that link is for the full episode, but the Walker bit is at the beginning).

Before the prank call, there was already speculation and concern about Walker's political ties to the Koch brothers. David and Charles Koch, who are based in Wichita, KS, are extremely wealthy - multi-billionaires - and their money comes from the oil industry, power plants and manufacturing. They are also extremely conservative politically and have made it their business to weaken government and regulations as much as they possibly can by pouring money into getting people elected who can best serve their interests. This is done in all kinds of ways, from donating to political candidates directly (they gave $43,000 to Walker when he ran for governor last fall), donating to organizations that support those candidates (they gave one $1 million to the Republican Governors' Association last fall, and the RGA in turn spent $5 million on attack ads against the Democratic candidate Tom Barrett in one of the most expensive gubernatorial races in history), and they fund think tanks with benign-sounding names like Citizens for Change to influence the public. Rumor has it the Koch brothers paid for the buses full of Tea Party activists to show up last weekend. (For more on the Koch brothers and their opposition to the Democratic party, especially President Obama, see this piece from last August in the New Yorker. It's rather long, but excellent.)

The Koch brothers' agenda includes eliminating as much environmental regulation as possible, casting doubt on the scientific certainty of global climate change, shrinking government, and they also really hate unions. If they get their way on all these things, they stand to make even more money. You'd think being mega-rich multi-billionaires would be enough for these guys, but no. They want to own all the politicians, too.

So anyway, back to lil' ol' Scott Walker and this phone call with the fake David Koch. Clearly, he doesn't know Koch very well or he might have recognized that the caller was faking, but he spoke with disturbing openness about his intentions to layoff state workers if the bill doesn't pass by Friday, and his plan to trick the 14 Senate Democrats who left the state into coming back by pretending to be willing to sit down and talk. Perhaps the most disturbing, however, was his admission that he'd actually considered planting troublemakers among the crowd at last weekend's protests, and that he had dismissed this idea not because doing such a thing would threaten public safety and be morally reprehensible and under-handed and completely inappropriate for the governor of a state to do. No, he rejected the idea because trouble at the protest might reflect on him politically: "My only fear would be is if there was a ruckus caused is that that would scare the public into thinking maybe the governor has gotta settle to avoid all these problems."

This bit of conversation with fake Koch has raised serious concern among local leaders. Madison Mayor Dave Dieslewicz is furious. Madison's police chief wants Walker to explain himself. I, for one, have been present at the protests nearly every day this week as well as the gathering last Saturday that was 70,000 strong, and I can tell you unequivocally that you won't find a more peaceful, respectful, clean bunch of angry people anywhere. Thousands of people pack the Capitol every day and sure, we make a lot of noise, but every time I've been there I've felt completely safe. Believe me, if I didn't, I wouldn't be bringing my children with me. To know that the governor even considered sneaking in troublemakers makes me feel very unsettled, but at least I'm not alone (see above re: the mayor and police chief).

Walker isn't hiding from this phone call. He claims that he didn't say anything in that conversation that he wouldn't say in public, (which might as well be true since it's public now, right?) but he said enough to raise valid concerns about the exact nature of the relationship between the Koch brothers and the GOP. The former Attorney General of Wisconsin Peg Lautenschlager thinks there may be grounds for an investigation of violation of ethics, among other things. I know that there have been requests for phone and email records already.

To be honest, I'm not sure where I see all this going. Maybe, just maybe, it will be proven that Walker was bought by corporate interests and he'll have to step down. If not, I guess we're stuck with him at least until the end of 2014. I just hope by then the voters of this state pay a little more attention when they go to the polls.

on name-calling

2011-02-24T13:44:00.003-06:00

Daniel: Susan (he doesn't call me "mom" anymore) is the governor real?
Me: Yes, he is very real. He is a real person, though, so we shouldn't call him names, but he's trying to do some very bad things in our state of Wisconsin.
Daniel: I know what we should call him - Bad Governor!
Me: That seems appropriate enough.
Daniel: Yeah, he's a bad governor. That's why thousands and thousands of people are trying to stop him. Because if he gets what he wants, then people who get sick won't be able to pay the doctor and they'll die!

True enough. We shall be attending demonstrations at the Koch brothers' brand new lobbying office in downtown Madison this afternoon at 4:00. Join us if you can. I'll post more about all of this later, with cute kid pictures no less! So be sure to check in.

pictures from monday

2011-02-23T09:14:00.012-06:00

I bet some of you are sick of my blogging about opposition to Wis. Gov. Scott Walker's budget repair bill, aren't you? Well, too bad because here I go again. I feel an obligation to write about this and post as often as possible, for some reason. I'm not a state worker and heaven knows this little blog isn't the place anyone comes for up-to-date news and so forth. But since I can't be downtown in person every minute of the day and night, I'm doing my part, however small, by posting about it here as frequently as I can.

On Monday, I took Daniel and Anya to the demonstrations at the Capitol Square. We brought along a friend:

Some of my readers know this fellow! (Yes, he is a doctor, and no, he didn't write sick notes for teachers last week; he was actually out of town with his family those days.) I was grateful to have S there, frankly, because he held Daniel's hand while I alternately carried Anya and urged her to keep up with us. It's not easy to wrangle two kids at a rally in the freezing rain, is all I'm sayin'. When we got too cold walking around outside the Capitol, we joined the throngs inside the Rotunda to check out the scene there (and warm up!):

As you can see, protests are still going strong. Maybe not 70,000 strong like last Saturday because many people, including teachers, did eventually have to go back to work, but make no mistake: the workers are not backing down.

more about the bill, and today's links

2011-02-21T07:44:00.009-06:00

The protests in Madison slowed down briefly (but did not stop) yesterday because of nasty weather (and I mean nasty - ice pellets! snow! sleet!), but everything is ramping up again today. I may have mentioned that our previous governor imposed mandatory furloughs on all state employees, which amounted to a 3% pay cut, and as it happens, today is one of those days, so thousands of those people who have a forced unpaid vacation day will spend it on the Square, continuing to protest Scott Walker's budget bill. I plan to be at the noon rally with my children.

There are some things you need to know about this situation, and rather than explain it all myself, I'm providing some links with more info:

1) The protests, which drew a crowd of 68,000 on Saturday, were entirely peaceful. We are angry, but we are also civilized.

2) This account of the protests, by a graduate student at the UW-Madison, sums things up very nicely.

3) The mega-rich Koch brothers poured a lot of money into getting Scott Walker elected. They also fund Tea Party efforts and, it is rumored, paid for the buses to get the pro-Walker supporters to Saturday's demonstrations.

4) Union rights aren't the only thing at stake in Walker's bill. Though the atrocious proposal to remove nearly all collective bargaining rights has captured national attention and fueled the protests, Walker's bill threatens Medicaid and Badgercare. Here is an article from madison.com about the issue, and here is an excellent blogpost from a local, anonymous blogger that articulates just what is at stake and why you should contact the governor and your local representatives about it. This issue deserves more coverage than it's getting.

5. Gordon Hintz is outraged, and you should be too.

6. Read this article in Mother Jones, which answers questions clearly and succinctly, and explains the whole situation.

show me what democracy looks like...

2011-02-19T17:35:00.003-06:00

THIS is what democracy looks like!

things are getting ugly

2011-02-18T14:20:00.004-06:00

Things are really heating up here in Madison. 30,000+ people have showed up to protest at and in the Capitol, schools here and elsewhere in the state have been closed since Wednesday because so many teachers have called in sick to join the protests. Gov. Scott Walker won't back down, despite being reprimanded by President Obama. The State Senate Democrats left the state yesterday morning rather than vote (see a video of this here). The highest-ranking Catholic, archbishop (I think) of Milwaukee made a statement in support of union workers. So did the Green Bay Packers (they're union). The Mayor of Madison called an emergency session of the city council to go ahead and ratify union contracts for certain city workers through 2012 in case the budget repair bill goes through. The reverend Jesse Jackson is in town.

And it's getting ugly. Fox News reported violence here, which was a complete misrepresentation of the situation. You won't find more polite protesters anywhere than in Madison, I promise you. The Tea Party is planning to show up tomorrow with some busloads counter-protestors; I can't guarantee that the Tea Partiers will be as polite as the union supporters.

Anya's been sick for a couple of days, so I haven't taken the kids downtown since Wednesday, but I plan to go this weekend, even if I go alone. In the meantime, I've been checking news updates online obsessively, from Madison.com and the TAA website.

The implications of this bill are huge. Walker wants to undo nearly 50 years of strong labor history in a single fell swoop, and if he succeeds (I still fear that he may), other states with Republican governors may follow suit. I am angry. I am angry at our governor and the Republicans in the state legislature who plan to vote for this awful bill. I am angry at the people of Wisconsin who voted this turkey into office in the first place. I am angry at the assault on workers' rights here and elsewhere. That is why, even though I'm not even a state employee currently, I plan to stand up tall and fight this thing.

another day of solidarity

2011-02-16T17:19:00.003-06:00

I fear for the future of workers, of unions. Organized labor has been under attack for decades, and our governor's proposal to effectively end collective bargaining for state employees is especially vicious. I know that the state's financial situation is in shambles (Walker, why again did you give back all those millions of federal dollars for high speed rail? We really could have used that money here, you know. And those jobs.) I also know that attacking labor rights isn't about fixing a broken budget. It's about power. I know that no matter the outcome of this disastrous budget repair bill, Scott Walker is in for a helluva fight. At least 30,000 people showed up at the State Capitol today to Stick It To The Man, and three of those people were me and my children. Many of those people were public school teachers and their students supporting them; so many teachers called in "sick" last night that the Madison Metro School Disctrict called off school for today.

The people united...will never be defeated.

solidarity forever

2011-02-15T12:26:00.002-06:00

yes we can

2011-02-14T16:46:00.004-06:00

If you live in Wisconsin, you've heard about Gov. Scott Walker's budget proposal bill and public objection to it. The most appalling part of it, the part that makes me spit bile and shoot flames from my eyeballs, (if I may be so frank), is the proposal to strip nearly all state workers of their collective bargaining rights (all but the firefighters, police and state troopers) and then require them to contribute more to their health insurance and pension plans. Walker wants to push this bill through later in the week with very little deliberation.

Walker, a Republican, claims that bargaining with unions takes too long and that he wants public employee benefits to reflect those in the private sector. This is a load of shit. He really wants to take collective bargaining rights away from state employees so that he can cut their pay and benefits however he pleases. State employees already had mandatory unpaid furloughs under the previous governor last year because of budget problems.

I used to be a state employee. The first five years I was in graduate school, before I got knocked up and had to drop back to part-time status, I held teaching and project assistantships and thus worked under a contract that was negotiated by the bargaining team of the TAA (Teaching Assistants' Association) at the UW. Because of our collective bargaining rights, we had some nice benefits, notably tuition remission (which is HUGELY important for recruitment) and affordable health insurance (there used to be a free option, but alas, no longer). When your take-home pay is a few hundred dollars a month, those things matter a lot.

Now Walker wants to strip away workers' rights and then cut their pay. 1,000 students and professors marched on the Capitol today, but I understand the big demonstrations are Tuesday and Wednesday, where state union workers will be turning out in droves to speak their collective mind. I plan to be there with my kids to physically show my support for the people who are the backbone of this state.

I'm so angry about this I can't even write coherently. It's not this bill alone that has me so distressed. It's the general notion that collective power is something to be feared, that individual rights in the workplace have no meaning and deserve no respect. The worst thing is that no matter how many thousands of people show up to protest, the bill will probably get passed because the state leg is Republican-controlled, and we all know how they feel about unions.

Look what just happened in Egypt. They overturned a 30-year dictatorship in massive peaceful demonstrations. Surely we can preserve workers' rights in the state of Wisconsin.

Si se puede

Links:
Teachers' pay will be cut 10%
Student protests at the Capitol
Photos from the rally