Here's the text to a song by Lee Hoiby I've been working on recently. It's a really beautiful song, full of joy and humility, and I think the words articulate exactly - or nearly so - my own feelings about the path I chose in my own education (never mind that everything is pretty well stalled at the moment for child-rearing!) I am always second-guessing myself, and wondering if I did the right thing studying piano when I could have gone in so many other directions. Poor Stuart, who has known me since I was a college freshman (!) has heard me time and time again question aloud if I should have gone into science or English or education or anyway, Something Different. Not that it matters now. What matters is what I am doing, which is the afore-mentioned child-rearing with a dabbling of piano whenever I can manage it. But I still want to share the text (and a youtube link) below, because I think that may explain why I keep on keepin' on.
I want to be where the music comes from,
Where the clock stops, where it's now.
I want to be with the friends around me,
Who have found me, who show me how.
I want to sing to the early morning,
See the sunlight melt the snow;
And oh, I want to grow.
I want to wake to the living spirit
Here inside me where it lies.
I want to listen till I can hear it,
Let it guide me, and realize
That I can go with the flow unending,
That is blending, this is real;
And oh, I want to feel.
I want to walk in the earthly garden,
Far from cities, far from fear.
I want to talk to the growing garden,
To the devas*, to the deer,
And to be one with the river flowing,
Breezes blowing, sky above;
And oh, I want to love.
*(Devas, pronounced "day-vas", means nature spirits)
Here's a youtube link to a video with good sound but lousy visual quality of the song being sung.