I know this sounds crazy

I know this sounds crazy, but I wish I could put off my due date for a couple of months. No, I don't love being pregnant so much I wish it to last longer. GOD, no! (And I feel bad saying that because pregnancy is relatively easy for me. No barfies or high blood pressure or anything else debilitating...I just like being able to see my toes and have a guilt-free beer once in a while.) It's just that I am over halfway through - 22 weeks out of 40, to be exact - and I'm really starting to feel the pressure to get this degree finished. I'm feeling nervous that I've got approximately 18 weeks to do it.

I think the panic started when I got an email from one of my committee members with some feedback for my dissertation proposal. He had some really good suggestions, but I turned this sucker in over a month ago, and I think he read it right away, made a bunch of notes, and then forgot to tell me what he wants me to change. Meanwhile, I've started a lot of the work, because time is absolutely of the essence here, and I'm feeling somewhat discouraged that I'm not going about this the right way and quite anxious about finishing everything before I go into labor. I'm not under any delusion right now that I can do the defense before Christmas. I'm okay with that. I don't want to have to enroll and pay for tuition (just part-time as a dissertator, but still) for the sole purpose of showing up for a two-hour defense, but that certainly wouldn't be impossible. But if I'm still writing and revising with a squalling newborn plastered to my chest and a jealous nearly two-year-old clamoring for my attention...I don't know. I just don't see how that could happen.

I guess this is why a lot of people don't finish their doctorates.

I guess this is also why most people wait until they're done before having kids (not that we planned it this way, but it doesn't make it any easier.)


Animal said…
I surely hope this doesn't come off the wrong way, and I know that when it comes to the defense you can't really whitewash your way through it...but, here goes: just get it done, even if it feels like kind of a rush job. I'm sure you COULD finish it with the aforementioned squalling newborn and envious toddler, but if you have 18 weeks to wrap up BOTH your DMA & your pregnancy, do whatever it takes (i.e., cut some allowable corners) to get that sheepskin. You can worry about what to do with it AFTER you have your new baby, but in the meantime, it really is kind of about jumping through hoops at this stage. Nobody says you have to be graceful...just get the hell through 'em.
One word of advice:


You'll be fine. Don't sweat it too much, or it will become this huge monster looming over you. One step at a time, jump through each hoop as it comes, and do what Animal says. Just "git 'er done!"

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