I spent at least half of the day standing next to Daniel's crib trying to get him to sleep. This is part of our new Method of sleep training. The jury's still out on whether the Baby Whisperer knows what the heck she's talking about. If today is any indication, she gets a big Thumbs Down.

But I didn't intend to write about my kid's sleep issues. One way or another, we'll get through this, even if I lose all my hair and gnash my teeth down to the gums in the process.

What I meant to write about, ironically, was the fact that despite all my gripe-y, negative posts of late, my life is all right. I did pass my prelims, after all. And my social life had a little pick-me-up on Sunday when my friend Rob came over for lunch and then took me to see "Stranger Than Fiction," which was, by the way, a very good film.

I don't write a whole lot about my life as a musician on this blog, and when I do, I tend to focus on my insecurities, why I'm unsure of myself, where (and if) my life is going professionally. Yesterday's post is a prime example of that.

The truth is, I know I'm on the right path, even if I don't know exactly where that path is leading right now. How do I know? Because I get excited thinking about people I plan to collaborate with in the future. Because whenever I hear a new piece I like, I think "I want to play that!" Because I'm more confident every time I perform. Because every time I perform, I enjoy it even more. Because my five students, who range from 3rd to 7th grade, all love to play music. Because, heaven help me on this one, when I was studying all my old music history notes, I was concocting hypothetical lesson plans on various topics.

I'm not naive. I know that finding a decent job, even in collaborative piano - which is one of the more marketable areas of music performance - is extremely difficult. I may or may not find a dream job someday. As long as we have a young child(ren) to take care of (eventually we'll have another, but considering how things are going right now...well, let's just say I'm in no hurry), that "someday" might be a while from now. As long as I can play music I love with people I love to work with, I'm OK with that.


Animal said…
(Said in a govelly/falsetto Yoda voice):

"Mmmm....turned from the Dark Side, you have. The Force is strong with you."

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