a little worried

I know that you all don't need to know or want to know all the details of my pregnant self. This pain and that discomfort, every moment of wonder and joy and anxiety...that can get a little boring. I myself enjoy only a certain amount of baby talk before my eyes glaze over. I've said several times that the great thing about pregnancy, assuming it's a normal and healthy one, is that your body does everything for you. As long as you eat right, get enough sleep and don't do anything stupid like shoot up heroin or go ski jumping, everything takes care of itself until the baby is born. This has thusfar been the case for me.

The last couple days have been worrisome, though, and writing about it might help my anxiety, so here we go. I was meeting with my major professor yesterday at her house, mainly to talk about my dissertation project, but also to catch up on life in general. I was sitting on her couch, and at one point moved over so she could sit next to me so we could look at something together. She pointed to where I'd been sitting: "Is that you?" There was a stain. Not a big one, but it was definitely red and it had definitely come from me.

I didn't panic, but I was mildly worried. I came home, called the clinic, waited over two hours before calling back and finally spoke to a nurse on call. In the meantime I pulled my one and only pregnancy book off the shelf, a book I barely looked at when I was pregnant with Daniel, a book I'm not terribly enthusiastic about (mostly because of its annoying insistence on something they call the "pregnancy diet"), and looked up "bleeding in the second trimester." According to this book, what I was experiencing (and still am, to a small extent) - light bleeding, no cramps or pain or fever of any kind - is probably nothing, but possibly an indication of low-lying placenta or something of that sort. It's not that uncommon. It's also not the worst thing that could happen, certainly, but it's enough to make me a little nervous.

I'm scheduled for an ultrasound next Wednesday to check things out. Everything is probably all right, I keep telling myself, but it's still hard not to fret and worry a little.

ETA: Regarding ultrasounds - I only had one when I was pregnant with Daniel. It was around 9 weeks and it was only to confirm the due date. Those mid-term ultrasounds often raise false alarms, they're uncomfortable (your bladder has to be uncomfortably full for them to get a good picture), and they're not actually necessary as long as you're under 30 and having a healthy pregnancy. Most people assume the mid-term ultrasound is necessary and routine, but we opted not to do it when I was pregnant with Daniel, and we were really glad not to have to do it. I had intended not to have the mid-term ultrasound with this pregnancy, either, unless there was a specific reason (like 2nd-trimester bleeding, for example). Because of the bleeding, I'm having one on Wednesday, during my 16th week, to check the placenta. If everything's OK, which I dearly hope it is, then I don't plan to have another ultrasound at 20 weeks. Because we don't want to know the sex of the baby, and it really, really sucks to drink 32 oz. of water in 30 minutes and then have to HOLD IT while they're pressing down on your abdomen.


Pam said…
I'm sorry to hear about this new development, Suze. For what it's worth, a woman I work with has been having ongoing bleeding during her pregnancy and yet the doctor says she and the baby are doing fine. I hope all turns out well! I'll be thinking of you! :-)
Tooz said…
I hope things are going well--please keep us updated.
Suze said…
thanks, pam and tooz. i've heard several similar stories today already, and it's all very encouraging.
Feral Mom said…
Hope you're OK. I'm thinking about you.
Sorry you're having this worrisome new development. I'm thinking of you. Please keep us informed!

Love ya big bunches!
Animal said…
Yup. Thinking of you, and wishing you (and baby!) well.

Have you had your full-anatomy ultrasound yet, to determine placental placement?
Thorny said…
Oof. What a nerve-wracking kind of development. I'm sorry it's happening to you. I hope the ultrasound reveals everything is A-OK for you.

One thing I tried to keep in mind, in regards to trying to assess how worried I needed to be about things going on in my pregnancy (which was high-risk in like, three different ways), was how alarmed my OB seemed.

When they said, "Hmm, that's strange. Well, we'll check that when you come in next week," I figured, "Okay, not too big a deal." When they said, "Oh, well, in light of that problem you're having, we'll bump up your next ultrasound to... how's tomorrow?" then I worried more.

Best of luck! I'll be thinking good thoughts for you!
andre said…
Hi Suze. . I'm wishing you and your family good and health and peace.

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