goodbye to October

Daniel is MUCH better today. Thanks to all of you who asked in comments or in emails. In fact, he was pretty well back to normal by last night, thankfully.

Is it really Halloween today? Somehow that didn't exactly register with me. I guess between a sick kid earlier this week, and all the school stuff having me preoccupied and the fact that Daniel isn't old enough to understand what a costume is, much less ask strangers for candy (let's put that off as long as we can, shall we?), it just wasn't on my radar. Well, anyway, happy Halloween, everyone!

November is going to be a crazy month for me. My dissertation defense is on the 12th, my exit recital is on the 18th, and my whole fambly is going to be here for Thanksgiving. These are all good things to look forward to, though stressful--except for the visiting family part. That'll just be fun.

So, yeah. This exit recital. It's going pretty well, considering. About 1/3 of the music I know already, but the other 2/3 of it I've given myself less than a month to put together; that includes a major (actually, it's in f minor, har har) Bach violin sonata with harpsichord and the Brahms Schumann variations, op. 23, not an insubstantial piece itself. I've had two rehearsals on each of these newer works, and I'll probably get two more. That's it. And you know what? I'm confident that everything will be just fine. This is partly just because it has to be just fine. There is no other option. I can not postpone this recital. I can not ask my fellow musicians to rehearse more than their busy schedules will allow. I can not conjure a babysitter out of thin air when none is available.

Mostly, I am confident because I realize just how far I've come as a musician in the last few years, particularly since studying Collaborative Piano exclusively. I can learn most music quickly (though obviously, some things take more time than others), I can rehearse efficiently, I know how to listen to myself as a pianist and as a collaborator, and most significantly, I don't need a lot of help to do any of these things. I feel more independent now than I ever have before. True, it took a bunch of years in grad school and 3 post-college degrees to get me here, so if you call me a "late bloomer" or a "slow learner," I'm not going to argue with you. The important thing is, this is where I am now and I feel good about it.

Of course, all this is coming together for me just in time to have another baby, so who knows if I'll ever get a real job that pays me to do what I'm good at...but that's a topic for another day.


Anonymous said…
Rock on, Susan! Your latest post made me happy.
Steph said…
I utterly fail to see how any person in his or her right mind could refer to you as a late bloomer. You aren't even thirty and you're practically done with your third graduate degree, plus you have a kid and a second one on the way. This is probably older-cousin license I'm taking here, but I tend to think of you as precocious. ;)

I know you'll kick butt at your defense and your recital. I wish I could hear them both.
Pam said…
i agree with steph!! you rock, suze! :-)
Anonymous said…
Hi Suze! I'm a reporter interested in speaking with you for a story but I can't find an email address for you. Can you email me at kdean at madison dot com? Thanks! Katie

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