home stretch

I'm on the home stretch of this dissertation thing. I'm re-writing and revising like mad, obsessing over every sentence, wondering when my vocabulary shrank to that of a high school dropout, and fretting over stupid things like whether I should use bold, italics or underline to highlight the title of every section. I'm also developing a slight case of the crazies, which means I am constantly wired. I can't sleep more than 3-4 hours most nights, which is probably pregnancy hormones piled on top of the other stress. When I'm sitting at the computer, I start to hate everything I've written and I get twitchy, running my fingers through my hair, scratching every little itch, staring at my nails, straightening the pile of papers and music scores on the desk, getting up to pee every five seconds, and heading to the kitchen every five minutes for water or a snack. This puppy is due on Monday. In four days I will turn it in. In four days I can get a haircut. In four days I can dump a stack of books and scores two feet thick in the "return" slot of the UW library--that's always a satisfactory feeling. In four days I can have a conversation with Stuart that starts with something other than "THIS PAPER IS SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF ME!!"

But no matter. I think this sort of thing happens to everyone right before a big deadline. I'll get through it, and it will be fine. Even good. Probably not stellar. Hopefully with properly formatted footnotes and without too many typos.

Meanwhile, some other good things are happening around here:

1. My mom is here for a WHOLE WEEK to help out with Daniel, and that's always a good thing. He's doing all kinds of stuff for her that he won't do for me! Like saying new words and playing nicely for long periods of time in the living room because it's too chilly to go to the park.

2. I had a routine doctor appointment this week. I've gained less than 30 pounds so far (though I'm not far from that mark!), the baby's growth is measuring slightly ahead of my week of gestation (which just means it's probably a big baby, but Daniel was 9 lbs, so that's no surprise), and all in all, everything is looking good. I scheduled my next five appointments; after next month's visit, I have to go every two weeks, then every week until after the baby's born. Cripes! Am I that close already? Just over two months out from the due date? When did that happen?

3. Have I mentioned how much I loooooooove the swimming? Actually, I haven't gone since Saturday because I'm getting over a cold; fortunately, it's not a bad one, but you're not supposed to go to the pool if you have something contagious. Anyway, after just two weeks of swimming 2-3 times per week, I've hit a stride where I do laps for a solid half hour. It feels great.

4. Daniel has a couple of molars now. Yesterday when he had his mouth wide open for some reason (either laughing or babbling or playing some silly game, who knows, really), I noticed them poking through on each side of the bottom of his mouth. I'm not sure when they came in, but it probably explains why his appetite has been rather unpredictable the last couple weeks, and why he's been chewing on his fingers. And yes, I consider us VERY LUCKY that so far he hasn't woken up screaming in the middle of the night in teething pain.