Dear United Airlines,

Thanks so much for losing our suitcase yesterday. Since you delayed our flight from Chicago to Wichita, I would have thought you'd have had plenty of time to toss our bag into the luggage compartment. Judging from the long line at the ticket counter of people claiming lost bags, and the no-nonsense efficient manner of the United employee working there, I had the impression you put bags on the wrong plane all the time. You know, it's been a while since I've gone without deodorant, worn my underwear inside out, left my armpits unshaved, bummed a toothbrush from my in-laws and dressed my kid in his pajamas for two days straight. I want to thank you for this oppportunity.

One mildly disgruntled, slightly smelly, greasy United customer


Steph said…
yeeks. sorry about that. the bastards.
I saw something on the news the other day about airlines losing baggage. Basically, this airline official stated they have no real way of finding lost luggage, no system to track it, nothing. His suggestion? Don't check luggage, EVER.

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